PDA holiday support chat

[Senmum2013]

Happy holidays everyone 🙄. Lighthearted type of thread really to try and support us all to get through the next 6 weeks. I’ve an 8 year with ASD/PDA, today was the first day of the holidays for us (I stupidly worked a night shift last night as overtime) woke up after a few hours zzzz. Managed to get him out of the flat and went to a city farm which to my absolute astonishment he had a great time. Today was a good day no idea what tomorrow will bring (other that I’m on another night shift!) but just taking it one day at a time. How is everyone else coping?

Just realised that my post may have appeared a bit gloaty. No doubt tomorrow I’ll be pulling hair out. I just find being a mum to SEN kids hard and v v lonely.

Wow well done for having a fab day after a night shift 👍 do you have other children?

Yes defo one day at a time - what I struggle most with if he doesn’t want to go out then we are all busted for the day homebound. Or if he wants to go back home after paying to get in somewhere once again we are all busted as we have to go back home which my other children think it’s highly unfair!

Yesterday he agreed to have a few seasons off his computer. He played outside with his sister on the trampoline, made a massive den in the house and played junior monopoly - rest of the time on the computer ….

plus for the first time ever I’ve put the big 2 into school camp as they agreed to go - it felt amazing more calm as less children.

Hi yes I’ve two other children, 22 year old DS with ASD/adhd/ODD, he lives in supported living and a 19yr old DD, she does help me out a lot with childcare (if I work a night shift she looks after him and she’ll drop him to breakfast club/summer camp in the mornings).
last year we went to chessington, stupidest idea ever as couldn’t afford the fast track pass and he had no diagnosis at that point (I’m not even sure if they do give out fast passes for kids like ours?) complete shit show of a day with him just unable to queue. Never again. I’m lucky that it’s only my 8 year old that I have to entertain now but I do remember when my elder two were younger it was always really tough on my daughter due to her older brother being such hard work.
well done for getting some time away from the screens though, I find that really tricky. Need to get him out the flat for a bit to try and use up his energy before I work tonight. How old are your kids? .

Morning,

yes they do give out fast pass / ride access tickets at merlin now if your are on high dla / blue badge. Although 6 months ago it was so much easier with a access card so I think lots of people took the piss - now the ride assess pass is still massive - suppose there is animals there to wander around ……

My kids are 11.9.8.7 😬 yep 4 under 4! So the middle 2 clash so much 😬 that’s where 80 percent of my time is needed

Is your kiddy on Adhd meds? Going to try this again this summer if he will take them not sure how long he can hang out in school it’s getting quite demanding work load yr4….. but as long as he his happy to go I’ll take him. He quite likes the sports / art stuff but there are some super strict teachers he’s just finished with a tricky one ….. makes all the difference if they don’t shout / be fair and smile!

What’s on the cards today? I’ve got a dentist apt as I cracked my bloody tooth on a hula hoop so hopefully be sorted by this pm x

I was at work until 3am but managed a couple of hours sleep and then dropped him at summer club (he’s allowed to go two days a week as it’s a free local inclusive play facility, NT kids can go as often as they like as long as there’s spaces).
mine hates sports which is annoying as he just has so much bloody energy. Can’t imagine what having 4 must be like other than real hard work!
my eldest used to be on meds for his ADHD but he was never keen and tbh I didn’t notice much difference. He’s not on anything now.
good luck at the dentist!

Well today was a shit show of a day. I’ve had an uninvited guest over the last week tormenting me (a bloody tiny mouse which has got in because of building work being done in the block of flats I live in) s we hi h has left me tired and stressed. Today took my son out to go on one of those pedalo boats in a big park nearby (1.5 mile walk away). He was bored and got irritated then went into the play area where he had another negative interaction with a child. The last 3 times we’ve been to a park he’s got into situations with other children (not started by him but he reacts physically). Obviously I then remove him and we leave. Today I’m just angry, angry that yet again it was a shit day put, anxious that we’ve now had 3 in a row bad park trips, worried he’s going to misbehave at summer camp and get banned (need him to go there the days I work). Just so stressed and just don’t want to do this anymore. Then there’s the constant sodding anxiety because of the mouse and now my oven seems to have given up on me as well. Anyone else?

May I join you?

I have DS (6) with PDA/ADHD.

You can apply for the ride passes with an access card that has the queuing symbol on it. Bit of a process but well worth it to have a successful day.

We’ve been swimming today, he hated it. Lots of crying, meltdowns, hiding (not good when he can’t swim). We left early. Nightmare.

Hi @PDAView the more the merrier! I think I’m going to try to go chessington towards the end of the holidays, hopefully be a bit cooler by then! Sorry swimming wasn’t good, mine likes swimming but the instructors at the local pool have refused to teach him due to his behaviour. I put DS in summer camp today as I worked last night so had a little nap and he actually had a good day, he’s still going strong now though 🙄

DS wants to learn to swim but we’ve been trying for 3 years with lessons and he’s just so fearful in water. Any tips?

Chessington passes take 7 days to be approved, the access card took around 3 days. Worth doing!

My Daughter (10) has been wandering around complaining about being bored for every moment that she’s not online.

Today she left for a 5-day residential trip which she’s been super-excited about. The centre had reassured us that they were all up to speed with ASD etc but apparently they’ve just rung my husband to say that she’s having a meltdown and not joining in.

Am seriously worried that we might have to drive 5-6 hours back up there to pick her up at this rate. :-(

@PDAView no advice I’m afraid mine was scared at first probably took over a year until he could tolerate going under water, practiced alot of bubble blowing in the bath. Will definitely look into the fast pass thing for a (likely shit) day out 🙄
hi @MikMakMok im so sorry to hear this. That is really rubbish, I really hope your hear back from them later and she has settled. Mine also only wants to go on a screen constantly. I’ve taken him to the cinema this afternoon (it’s lovely and cool in here!) he moaned but was fine once we got here. Thing is, people think they understand ASD but the reality is all our children are individual and what’s works for my DS won’t necessarily work for your DD. The sooner teachers and support staff understand that the better for our children. Fingers and toes crossed for you that she settles xxxx I hope you and your husband get some time to yourselves xx

I can’t believe it! After ringing earlier today to say that she was doing much better the centre called tonight to ask her to come ask pick her up! So she’s been there 24 hours.
So husband now has to get up at crazy am to drive 4/5 hours and pick her up! (She went on a coach) then drive back with her.

she doesn’t even know that she’s going to have to leave apparently. She’s going to be broken. But she’s been throwing things and hitting people, so they can’t let her stay. I’m so gutted for her.

@MikMakMok im so sorry, that is really sad to hear. What will you do tomorrow, I guess she’ll be quite challenging when your husband goes to collect her?
I had a rubbish day today. He was just hard work, went out and took him to some fountains nearby (ones that they can run around in, it’s one of my ‘safe’ spaces where I feel confident taking him). Some vile child started spitting water at him, the mum completely oblivious to it (too busy drinking her takeaway pint of beer). Really ruined the day and just knocked me a bit. I did tell the child it was disgusting what he was doing and ended raising it with security (they wonder around do people don’t photograph the kids). Just pissed me off. I hope she gets back safely and sorry you’ve not had the respite you were likely looking forward to xx

@MikMakMok that sounds so hard for all
of you. Do you know what has triggered the behaviour?

@Senmum2013 hate when our safe places get spoilt like that, I just don’t understand why some parents do not supervise their children. My DS would find that very hard to understand as it’s so clearly against ‘the rules’ (although he’s allowed to manipulate and break them to suit himself obviously!).

@Senmum2013 I haven’t heard from him yet, but I imagine she’s very upset. She’ll need a fair amount of time to process this. :-(

re. Your experience at the fountain, isn’t it so often kids who are REALLY annoying who set our kids off? Mine never responds “appropriately” but I totally understand her annoyance a lot of the time.

@PDAView - I suspect that she didn’t want to do something, but the heat/excitement/being away from home almost certainly not helping. She’s very sensitive now about being “different” so if another kid laughs ‘at her’ while she’s upset it really escalates.

@MikMakMok I sympathise entirely, sounds very familiar. Sad thing is they really can’t help it and with the right strategies can be supported through it. Hope she’s ok when she gets home.

@PDAView Thanks. As well as being gutted for her I’m also feeling a bit sorry for myself as had planned to do wonders in the time she was away. Am feeling a bit sad about my “holiday” coming to an end.

@MikMakMok totally understand. Time without my youngest is like gold dust (especially in the holidays), I usually run three times a week but it’s been so hot and I’ve only not got him when I’m at work (he’s had the odd session at a different summer camp for a few hours so that is something). It’s just so bloody hard isn’t it.
today we went bowling then to the arcade in there, actually wasn’t too awful, but then had to meet a new babysitter whose collecting him the next couple of days from camp whilst I’m at work. Didn’t go great snd now stressing whether she’ll actually turn up tomorrow 🤦🏼‍♀️

I hope she’s back safely this is just so unfair and what really infuriates me about parents of NT kids have no idea how challenging things can be. Xx

@PDAView drives me nuts how mindless dons parents can be regarding their child’s behaviour xx