How to handle people being mean to your autistic child?

[AgentMagenta]

We've fallen out with our neighbours. Right next-door neighbours. My son is autistic and doesn't understand being blanked. He still runs up to the children to play. Tonight though, one of their children asked me to get my son to stop following him. I said he wanted to play. I was told it was annoying. I don't know what to do. I could say "Don't play with [children]" but he is very unlikely to understand.

I think he does know that something is up though - he is being thoroughly ignored by them - because he came inside a bit subdued and a few minutes ago he started to cry. I did try to ask him was he said and why he was sad but he doesn't have to communication skills to tell me.

Does anyone have any advice? Other than move, which I'd love to do!

It's pretty common for children not to want to play, I don't think it's being mean? If he can understand I would just explain that X doesn't want to play today. I don't think it's fair to expect a child to play with someone if they don't want to. Obviously if they are being horrible that's a different matter.

I agree with Hotpenguin, especially if you have fallen out with neighbours. I don’t think it is mean to ask someone to stop following you either, it is annoying. I would go with trying to distract DS and keep him otherwise busy.

From what I’ve read you’ve fallen out with your neighbours and I’m guessing they’ve told their children not to play with yours? If so, they’ve done you a favour because that’s a shitty thing to do.
is it quite easy to distract him?

It’s not just neighbours. My sister is visiting for the summer with her DS7 and DD5. My DS5 gets very territorial and likes to grab others but really enjoys playing with them. My nephew has complained and my sister made a mountain out of it to the point I was visibly I tears as she just couldn’t understand what we go through.