Daughter suspected autism

[Crazyhousewife]

So my daughter is becoming more difficult by the day and I feel so horrible saying that but I’ve already been through this with my eldest son and the toddler stage is so exhausting. She is constantly climbing, she slammed my drink all over me in the cafe today (today was a difficult day) to play with the pop with her hands on the table, she does this all the time with her juice spitting it out into tea set or on the table and messing about with it. I have a lack ikea coffee table and she flips it over all the time, she’s like a mini hulk. I can’t leave her unattended as I’ve tried to write this post several times and had to stop as she won’t stop using her wicker chair to play in the washing up bowl (allowed her to do it once supervised but had to do when she took the bowls off the drainer and slammed them on the floor to smash- i now have no more bowls), she also falls and bangs her head so I’ve had to put the wicker chair outside. I tried hiding it upstairs but when we go upstairs she chucks it down the stairs.she chucks everything and headbutts everyone and everything. She has been head butting the floor since she was 1 and 1/2 when we moved in with my parents due to housing problems. I thought she would settle when we moved into our house but 4 months later and she hasn’t, it feels like her behaviour is getting worse. She’s ruining the carpets with this spitting everything out and smearing everything. She is such a character and so full of life but her behaviour is difficult and her speech delay is making it so much harder. I’ve always put it down to her being speech delayed but i feels like more than that. She is 2 1/2 and only saying a couple of words, my health visitor is useless and I had to threaten to opt out of the service to get the supervisor to do a referral for a hearing test and I’ve self referred for salt but trying to write this and she is hitting me because I’ve hidden the ice lollies from her and she keeps helping herself to them( fridge freezer is in the dining room as house isn’t that big. Kitchen is literally a walk way with three cupboards and an oven). Also landlords shit on repairs with door hanging again needs skimming to keep it hung on and closed but that’s not gonna happen.

Does she go to Nursery at all ?
Talk to the SENCo there.

If not then look on your local offer for what home visiting service is available (just type in 'Local Offer' and the name of your local authority - every LA has one.

Or
Go to your Local Children's Centre and ask for help there.
or
Go to your GP and ask for a referral for assessment. (The route is different in different areas).

I’ve tried the gp they seem to have a habit of referring back to the health visitor. I’m hoping she has a place for September for nursery as I’ve had to put her on the waiting list in our area, her letter came through in the post last month to say she was eligible. We don’t have a childrens centre in our area, they were closed down due to funding. I’ll try the local offer, I think it runs under the health visitors though. I’m hoping to press my gp more once she is in nursery

Does she love water? From your post it sounds like she does and is trying to meet a sensory need. If so do you have a paddling pool she could play in with of pouring cups? We have been putting our 22 month old in an old style baby bath (towels underneath) and she plays in there in the living room. Or maybe a water table?

If possible I would recommend consulting a private occupational therapist. Often they will meet with you first to see if they think your daughter could do with an OT assessment. My son is autistic and our Occupational therapist has been the most useful person to us.