Does dyslexia affect a child's general behaviour? What can we do?

[jolamiri]

Our son is 12 and making home life difficult for everyone. He argues with his sister and shouts and screams about everything...won't do as he's told unless you get really worked up and shout at him, plays on the computer far too much but won't listen when you try to compromise or set boundaries in place. He is dyslexic and has never been the easiest child to parent as he's extremely stubborn and single-minded. Not sure what to do... is it dyslexia or puberty or both? He's a very kind and sensitive child but doesn't seem to realise that everyone will be happier (including him) if he just accepts the rules we're trying to lay down without a fight over everything you ask him to do. It's SO exhausting.

probadly both. But mainly being a 12 yr old boy. How sschool ? if hes having a tough time there its likely to have an effect on his behaviour.
Do chat to the patemts of other boys his age and se what they are finding helpfull and also what they are dealing with as well, chances are hes being pretty normal for his age.

Could be a combination of work in year 8 getting harder and puberty. Mine went through a tricky year last year in year 7 whilst going through the trials and tribulations of puberty. Perhaps he feels like he is getting left behined and can't do stuff so he's getting cross. He's probablly keeping a lid on it at school but letting rip at home. I would try pre-empt so before he goes on the computer ask him when he is going to come off - and let him (with negotiation if necessary) set a boundry. Also All kids but particularly ones with SEN sometimes have problems with inference so you might need to spell it out to him why he needs to do certain things, ie, too much computer makes you more tired and grumpy and you need to go out and ride your bike for half an hour and does he want stressy parents or happy parents? It's so much easier if he opts for the latter.

It's a nightmare when they go through phases like this but they all do it - I don't just think it is dyslexic specific.

All the best

Thanks for your help. I am making a HUGE effort to be positive and supportive of him, otherwise it just becomes a vicious circle of negativity. I think he's ok at school (actually an old Yr 7) but it has been a shock going from his v laid-back state primary to a private school with more rules, homework, uniform etc. He's loving it though, so hope it's a good move.

Will spell it out for him. I just hate the way children of this age are convinced they know best!!! I am a very tolerant mother who does allow children quite a bit of independence, but it can backfire. I'd rather not be on their case all the time, that's all.

Contacted his paed this week and she's going to refer him to the local child and adolescent mental health service, which sounds scary. Not sure it's really needed... and DS went mad when I told him. Have noticed a marked improvement since then, actually....