Turn taking and autism

[Veebs21]

Anyone with autistic DCs that can give me tips on encouraging turn taking? DD is 3 years 9 months and it's one of her big triggers for meltdowns - be it her needing to take her turn or wait her turn.

I'm generally of the belief that kids should be able to play with what they want for as long as they want, and then when they're done that's their turn over and the next child can play. However, with DDs more limited interests, she can hog things for quite a long time, which isn't ok in public places like a playpark and people are waiting, or when we are at friends' houses and other kids want to play (often on the swing).

I've tried giving timers, countdowns, audible cues (alarm), tried explaining at eye level - but it causes almighty meltdowns no matter what I do. It's also the same if she's playing in close proximity to a vacant swing then sees another child get onto it, she goes over and starts screaming and shouting about how it's her swing etc. We've had to leave many a park because it just became too much for her.

My friends are all great and when we were at a party with two swings at the weekend, they encouraged turn-taking between their kids on the one swing and DD basically had her way and stayed on the other. I accepted it as it prevented the meltdowns, but I feel like I should be encouraging her more/to help her learn? I'm new to this so still learning as to what she literally can and can't process, but is there more I can do? How can I make it easier for her? Any tips or is it just something that will improve (or not?!) over time?

[Lockhart27]

A book called wait your turn Tilly has really helped my DS with turn taking. He has recently been diagnosed with mild ASD. I hope it helps.

[Sprogonthetyne]

With swings I always push 20 times, wether or not there's anyone waiting, then say I'm done pushing/ arms are tired. DS gets bored and moves on once it stops, so it prevents him hogging it without the focus being on the other kid or me having to tell him get off.

[tasteslikeburning]

Hi there! I've got a DS on the spectrum who's only a month older than your DD :) (3 years and 10 months) :)

I soooo feel this post! My son struggles so much with turn taking too, and especially in public places like soft plays or parks :(

What's worked for us:

• Lots of turn taking games at home - cars and marble runs being the ones he loves the most at the moment. We started with a roughly 3:1 ratio of turns for him (he would put the marble down the run 3 times, and I would do it once), slowing building up to 1 to 1 turns. We did this to keep the game really fun for him and keep him engaged in the game. It's taken about 2 months, but he's gotten there now.
• Distraction distraction distraction...I try and move him as quickly onto the next thing as possible, also making it as exciting as possible...aka we're going to go down the BIG SLIDE! And then try and even just run him over to the slide. Often this works to completely distract him. Other things I've done is hoisting him upside down, tickles, and even resorted to pulling out the iPad once when he was getting really worked up.
• Sounds like you're already doing this, but lots of warning that the transition is coming (I use my fingers to count down number of minutes, or number of pushes, before time to get off)
• I often use a visual timetable on his tablet, I use VAST on Android which is free
• Sure you're probably doing this too but if he does get off without a meltdown I practically throw him a parade, lots of high fives and talk about what a big boy he is. He doesn't quite get the concept of a sticker chart but that might work for your DD?

Hope this helps. Hang in there!!!