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Violence how to deal with

3 replies

purpleme12 · 19/06/2022 19:37

If your child is violent when they're having a meltdown/not happy/angry,
How do you deal with this???
Please can someone give me ideas.
When the child throws things or is violent to you

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 19/06/2022 19:39

Do I shut her in her room at the first sign of violence??

OP posts:
RaisingAgent · 19/06/2022 23:49

How old is your child, and what causes their meltdowns? How much understanding of language do they have? You have to find the parameters your child can operate within, and work from there.

My DD is 4 and is very articulate, understands language v well, she has high levels of anxiety and responds aggressively when her anxiety is raised. She hits, bites, scratches and throws.

My DD's pan is is made worse by being restrained so we no longer touch her during meltdowns. We remove our other child from the room to a safe space and one of us stays with DD to ride out the meltdown.

We remove in advance heavy or breakable objects which can be thrown but otherwise let her throw as this helps release her distress. We hold a pillow over us to protect against hitting.

If there is a window to distract or soothe her on the way up or down from the meltdown we try that, sometimes it helps to break it and sometimes not.

We never leave DD alone in a room as she has separation anxiety and being alone terrifies her.

My DD tries very hard to control herself in public, and meltdowns outside the home are infrequent, but can be unsafe when they happen. In those cases I pick her up and carry her briefly eg away from a road, and try to find somewhere with more space but still contained while she rides it out.

purpleme12 · 19/06/2022 23:54

RaisingAgent · 19/06/2022 23:49

How old is your child, and what causes their meltdowns? How much understanding of language do they have? You have to find the parameters your child can operate within, and work from there.

My DD is 4 and is very articulate, understands language v well, she has high levels of anxiety and responds aggressively when her anxiety is raised. She hits, bites, scratches and throws.

My DD's pan is is made worse by being restrained so we no longer touch her during meltdowns. We remove our other child from the room to a safe space and one of us stays with DD to ride out the meltdown.

We remove in advance heavy or breakable objects which can be thrown but otherwise let her throw as this helps release her distress. We hold a pillow over us to protect against hitting.

If there is a window to distract or soothe her on the way up or down from the meltdown we try that, sometimes it helps to break it and sometimes not.

We never leave DD alone in a room as she has separation anxiety and being alone terrifies her.

My DD tries very hard to control herself in public, and meltdowns outside the home are infrequent, but can be unsafe when they happen. In those cases I pick her up and carry her briefly eg away from a road, and try to find somewhere with more space but still contained while she rides it out.

She is 8
Language and understanding is fine.
All sense of listening and logic and doing what I say seems to go out the window when she's in this state????

I don't know what causes her meltdowns yet??
It's all fairly new
I'm trying to see if there's a pattern.
I am wondering if it's when things don't go as expected?!! When something goes wrong?! However that's not the case all the time.
I couldn't honestly tell you what set today off it lasted so long and it was so stressful dealing with it I have no idea what set it off.
She will throw things outside in the garden now.
It's so embarrassing now. I don't know where I'm going wrong

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