New autism diagnosis for dd14. Aspergers/HFA type. Any advice for books, support groups, resources?

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Dd14 was diagnosed recently at Lorna Wing centre. I wasn’t surprised but even through the assessment I still wasn’t sure which way it would go and wondered if we were barking up the wrong tree.

I’ve got kind of mixed feelings - partly relieved to know what’s underlying the difficulties she’s been having, partly sad that it means there are most likely things she’ll struggle with for her whole life rather than this ‘just’ being a tricky teenage phase.
Also feel kind of stupid I didn’t see it earlier.

her verbal communication was always so good and advanced and she used to be so chatty with adults, but now I realise that it wasn’t two way conversations, it was more of a monologue.

she’s generally functioning ok as school although says she hates it and it can be hard to get her there sometimes. Social anxiety is bad and there are sleep issues.

i was wondering if anyone has any advice for us newly processing the diagnosis? Any books/websites/groups?

Should clarify I mean resources for us as parents and also for DD herself

Scope offer a mentoring service for parents of DC recently diagnosed.

Your area might run a Cygnets programme or similar, whether parents of teen girls find it helpful often depends on who else is in your group.

Purple Ella, Tania Marshall, Sarah Hendricks and the girl with the curly hair are worth looking at.

Are the school providing any support? If you are having problems with school refusal and DD says she hates it there are likely unmet needs there. Have you considered applying for an EHCNA.

For the sleep issues does DD take melatonin?

Also consider applying for DLA if you haven’t already - the Cerebra guide is good for this.

Just joining the thread for tips. Ds2 (also 14) got his diagnosis last week. They said that, when they write the report, they will suggest resources so I'll post those when I get it.

I could have written your second paragraph word for word BTW.

Thank you @LargeLegoHaul and hi @Porcupineintherough, nice to know I’m not alone in how I feel about it.
it’s been a bit of a weird week a kind of ‘what now’ feeling. I did find a Surrey group (we’re not Surrey but nearby) called Appeer which looks good - focuses on girls and women with autism.

My gut feeling is that dd will be ok in the real world when she’s grown up but school is just such a difficult place for her ☹️. 13 and 14yr old girls can be very mean and tricky and she finds the relationships really hard to navigate and senses people find her annoying.

I feel bad saying it too but I find the constant negativity so so draining.