Hello,
I'll try to keep this brief, I hope you don't mind me posting here but for the first time I feel like I'd like to hear other opinions on our son (although obviously it will be difficult without meeting him) I'll try and give a list of the behaviours that have my husband and I wondering if there is more going on with his behaviour than just his personality. I'm scared to ask a professional, which is probably silly, as I'm scared of their responses or my son knowing that we are questioning him. So, he is almost 11, and we find him challenging most days.
- I'll start by saying we have never had any feedback from school regarding his behaviour, he gets on very well with his peers, he is doing well academically (not in the top set but top of the middle I'd say) takes his turn, doesn't interrupt or annoy anybody from what I've heard. Likewise he's lovely at friends' houses or with his grandparents - if his siblings aren't there. His issues seem to be at home only? They're random but here goes..
- he is very dramatic, a stubbed toe has him rolling around on the floor and snapping at anyone who goes near.
- no problems sleeping or eating, he eats literally anything and everything
- he shows a real lack of empathy at times with his younger sister, and winds her up and talks to her horribly. This isn't all the time, but at least half. His other baby sister he thinks is delightful.
- he does not seem to understand 'stop' either by his sister saying it, or his baby sister shouting (making it obvious she doesn't want to do whatever it is anymore) I often have to say 'they mean stop, why are you still doing that?'
- he is very grumpy and miserable, we're constantly trying to keep him happy, he grumbles about everything at first even if he actually likes the thing, eg time for a bath, time to get changed, time to have dinner, etc. I wonder if it's hormones/age but he's been like this for years really. We joke about him being like Kevin the teenager but it's exhausting.
- he has always been very sporty and is actually very talented in one sport but recently has gotten very lazy and bored, despite our best efforts to motivate him
- he goes between lying on the sofa/his bed to whizzing round the house causing havoc and mischief, there's no in between?
- despite having friends at school and chatting with them via texts often, he doesn't seem to be invited out with friends or to their houses often (despite us having them here) but I'm not sure if that's their parents just not wanting friends over? Make me quite sad though as I feel he misses out on that.
- he always goes that bit too far at home, in many situations. Just being too silly, pushing the boundaries, winding someone up, he just doesn't seem to get it despite us going over and over it most days.
- I would say he's on a power trip a lot of the time, he tolerates younger children but really is only interested in older ones
- he's ungrateful and quite spoilt. Birthdays/christmas he flounces off after opening his things, and isn't interested in other people opening theirs.
There will be more I should have added I'm sure. He's generally quite exhausting, and I feel like we're constantly correcting him and telling him off and I know he doesn't like it. Neither do we! I try to pick my battles but I can't let him be mean and it go unchecked.
Totally fine if he just sounds like a brat, I'll take that. But I don't know, we pull him up on his behaviour a lot and it never changes much? I thought it would by now..
Thank you.