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What do you do all day with an excluded child?

senmum123 · 23/05/2022 12:45

Background: DS (6, diagnosed with ASD at 4) was permanently excluded from mainstream school 3 months ago and we're trying to get his EHCP finalised to get him into special school. His case supposedly goes to panel next week.

He has been so traumatised by the whole experience that he now won't leave the house, often not even his room. I keep trying to get him out but this causes huge meltdowns. I have an older child I'm trying to protect too. CAHMS won't see him until we've completed an autism course which will be several more months.

I had to quit my job so suddenly find myself sat at home all day. The first few weeks were overwhelming with paperwork, applications, webinars etc but things have tailed off now. I'm really struggling with going from a full time, well paid, mentally challenging job to being literally sitting around with nothing to do. I can't leave the house without DS so I'm going completely stir crazy. It's also exhausting being on high alert 24/7 trying to stop meltdowns before they escalate.

LA have never been in touch or offered alternative provision etc. to be honest since he struggles with transitions so much and desperately needs consistency, I wasn't against him staying home until we can get him into the right school. I didn't expect it to drag on so long though - we could be looking at September.

For anyone who's been in this situation, what are some useful, practical things I could/should be doing? If you had a school-traumatised child who wouldn't leave the house, was there anything else that worked for you? Any suggestions for things I could be doing with him to try and stop his anxiety building up even further?

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AReallyUsefulEngine · 23/05/2022 13:08

The LA should be providing alternative education. That could be home tuition. This should have begun on the sixth day post PEx. Email the Director of Children’s Services threatening Judicial Review.

CAHMS won't see him until we've completed an autism course which will be several more months.

Did you request a psychiatrist &/or clinical psychologist assessment as part of the EHCNA? MH provision can be part of the EHCP without the need to go via the normal referral procedure/sit on normal waiting list. If it is in section F it must be provided, if the NHS can’t or won’t provide it the LA have to fund independent provision.

Have you had social care assessments? A carer’s assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children’s team for DS.

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