That's great that you have communication channels open with school.
I know what you mean about having a run of bad days which led to your decision to work with SS. How often are you in a rough patch like that?
I feel there is so much stigma associated with asking for help from SS, and it's a psychological barrier to many families that really need help supporting their disabled children.
My opinion is that if a parent is willing to face the social stigma of asking for help, then this is real strength.
It was a massive deal for me when we accepted a referral to Early Help a few years ago, but it was honestly one of the most helpful things we did. We had a superb Family Support Worker who did absolutely loads to help us. For me, I felt a lot of shame about "unmasking" and letting the FSW see how difficult things were, as I'd been brought up with the notion that "people like me don't need social care, that's for people who are in genuine need." I felt shame and guilt that I couldn't make our situation better despite all my efforts (and I tried a lot!)
What I learned from working with the FSW though, was that the education, health and social care system is in a desperately broken dysfunctional state, and that it really takes a professional like a FSW or SW intervening on your behalf to actually get access to the services and support that families need. Does that make sense?
Basically, if support services were operating as they ideally should be, you would already have been offered suitable support before it got to the point that your neighbour is worried.
I don't want to cause you any offence by saying this as it might not be relevant to you, but what I would say, very gently, is that if you are feeling that your responses to your child are less than what you want them to be - if you feel you wouldn't want anyone seeing how you respond at times - then try SS now for support, rather than leaving things and hoping they'll get better. Our children can have complex needs, and so much is demanded of us as parents, it's unlikely to get better. I'm not meaning to worry you, but hope you won't say no to help now only to look back in a few months/years and really regret not letting someone in at this point now. 