possibility of child having adhd

[aluvss]

Hi, I am hoping someone can help me. My dd is 9 years old but since she was born things have been difficult with her, it started off around when she was 2, she had a lot of temper tantrums and meltdowns, I thought it was just the terrible twos and she would grow out of this, but she hasn't.

I have an inkling that she has adhd; for example, she has has a short fuse and can go 0 to 100 real quick. She is unable to listen to simple instructions, I have to repeat myself several times and I can only tell her one thing at a time. Seh gets distracted very easily and can't just sit still and do her homework or anything for that matter. She loves maths and can do maths for hours, if she is in the zone. However, she hates english and will make silly mistakes, we can do spelling and then an hour later she has forgotten how to spell. There is much more.

I went to the doctor but they dismissed me and said that they can only refer her of the school think that she needs a referral. I spoke to the school and they do not think she has any issues. In school, she behaves in class but does distract other children, she mostly gets into trouble in the playground when she is unable to play well with other children.

I don't know what to do as I am really struggling with her behaviour at home and her outbursts. My two other children dd15 and dd5 are struggling with her behaviour as it effects them. My eldest finds it hard to concentrate with dd9 making so much noise and having tantrums and she lashes out on my youngest and hits her when they play together and something hasn't gone her way.

Is there another way for me to get a diagnosis that would be accepted by the nhs. If anyone has any recommendations, that would be great. I am in London.

Hi. Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. Our DS was diagnosed with autism when he was 7 and now at 13 we added ADHD with a private diagnosis. We couldn’t wait the 2 years for CAMHS. So if you can afford to pay you could get things moving although the school would need to feed into the process. I should say that for both of our situations our schools minimised the problems and my concerns. So don’t be put off because you know your child best in all settings. I’d suggest you look online and find the SNAP26 (?) questionnaire and get school, dd and you to each fill in one. Hopefully this will then result in the school providing good evidence that there are issues in their setting. You can then use this in a meeting with the SENCO to convince them to do a CAMHS referral- although that might take 1-2 years to come through even if you are accepted. The referral involves a lot of paperwork so you might be able to volunteer help with the form filling to encourage them - explain how difficult home life is and how much you need their help - it might be autism or adhd and both are assessed by the same people. However even if you go private for ADHD I’d suggest progressing CAMHS anyway. Also look at dyslexia if spelling/writing is an issue? Good luck

@KnottyAuty thank you so much for your advice. I will get the teacher to do the forms and and then meet with the SENCO. I guess I will have to look at private diagnosis.

Private has been worth it. CAMHS are a nightmare. The private service is not cheap but it has been a lifeline not just for us but for DS. Be aware though that there are additional costs after the initial assessment which I reckon easily double the cost of the whole thing until you can be transfered to your GP via Shared Care. For both the ASD and the ADHD the teachers swore blind that there were no issues, but when they had to record observations and fill in forms it was their observations that helped secure the diagnoses. They were seeing problem issues it is just that they didn't completely understand how to put all of those small pieces into the bigger puzzle. That part is often our job as parents because we see it all. Good luck

Thank you for your help, I seriously appreciate it.

I can echo that school might not agree but may still have useful observations.

We are awaiting an ADHD assessment (another 42 weeks to wait!) and my 11 yo dc does have an ASD diagnosis. We moved school mid process, a 2 year wait, and I saw her new teacher had ticked that my DC had no social communication difficulties with adults or peers!!! I nearly cried and was furious as she really does. Then in her face to face assessment I thought she did brilliantly. I cried a lot later and resigned myself to her not getting a diagnosis- so I was relieved when she did. So, don't be too disheartened.

My DD sounds similar to yours. Except she could read for hours (won't read atm 😬) but goes 0-100, flits, mostly can't concentrate, can be very impulsive, always fiddling with something (can watch a screen for ages but will be sucking thumb/twiddling hair/ biting nails/ playing with a fidget constantly) or moving about.

Have to say, she hit crisis at school last November and hasn't been for a couple of months but my goodness, she's like a different child! So, so much calmer at home. Has the attention span of a gnat mind, and won't engage in any learning that could be seen as school- like. But life is 99% calmer.

Thank you @ADarknessOfDragons for your thoughts, glad your dd is better at home. I also did notice my dd was so much better during lockdown when it there wasn't such a rigid routine, she was doing ten minute sessions and she loved it. Sometimes I think the school setting isn't great for her learning but I have to work so there wouldn't be a chance for me to teach her at home and neither do I have the qualifications.

She also can't just sit still like your dd, and she does sit to watch youtube but she will be biting on her sheets or scratching the sofa, which annoys me to no end.

I am taking the snap26 to the school today and then I will speak to the teacher next week, to see what her thoughts are, I am then going to make an appointment with the doctors, if this does not go anywhere I will have to go private.

Hi can I ask the people on this thread above who said the teachers said there weren't any issues at school but then they realised there was when they filled in the forms, what kind of things are you referring to? That they realised and filled in?

Mine mentioned her issues with noise, shouting out and not waiting with hand up (as eldest in year in Y5, not a little one!), difficulties listening to instructions, difficulties in group activities I think as a few examples. I'm still waiting for ADHD assessment though- and that has been driven by school. First primary referred for the autism assessment. This is second primary who tell me they're sure she has ADHD (but she'll have left before the assessment comes around so we'll see whether she makes it to secondary and what they think)

@purpleme12 I'm not sure because I didn't get to see the ADHD teacher forms but I was told that they provided "good evidence" and their scores for inattentiveness were as high as me/DS' scores from home. I think he has been distracted and disengaged in class and not able to concentrate on lessons or instructions. For the ASD forms many years ago it was a similar pattern but I can't remember the exact issues - the teacher complained about his behaviour and him not doing what was required in class/following instructions etc and saw that as an attitude problem rather than it being a learning difficulty. Sorry for being vague.