need to get this in perspective before i start to cry!

[luckylady74]

ds1[as 5yrs] had awards assembly this morning and i was really looking forward to it because his nativity was great.
i was uptight today because no other parent had brought younger siblings and my twins talked loudly - head looked over and then ds1 came up for his award. it was all lovely and then he started doing his new excited thing which is repeatedly slapping his crotch. kids were laughing and the head tried to gently hold his hand which was nice but did draw attention to it. the kids in front of me were pointing and i wanted to slap them!
can't tell dh about this because he'll be sad
i know it's not the end of the world, but needed to vent.hope no one from school reads this.

It would have upset me too, I feel for you.

But was DS aware that some of the children were laughing ?

Little kids find anything about willies, etc hilarious though don't they, so hopefully they were laughing at that rather than your DS.

And I think you should share with DH.

You say he'll be sad, but you are feeling sad too and would prob benefit from from a hug...?

Luckylady74,

Do you speak to the head often?

I know it varies from school to school but in most primaries you would have been sat at the back, meaning those immediately in front of you would have been year 6 students.

I would speak to the head and explain how wonderful it was to visit the school to watch the assembly and especially to see your ds get recognised. While you understand that your ds latest 'thing' can be a little embarrising/funny you were extremely dissapointed that the older children found it necessary to enliven their dull lives by publicly mocking your son in such an open and disrespectful fashion. Nor had you expected it from what you have come to see as a warm and welcoming community.

Keep your tone friendly and leave it there, unless they ask for more information. In which case just answer what they want to know. Believe me it will get much better results then if you went in ranting.

Most HTs are concious of their public image, and often invite governors and possibly local councillors/mp to these events to show how wonderful they are. Plus they are aware of the old truth, if you have a good experience you are likely to tell one person, if it is bad you are likely to tell ten.

You may or may not get feedback, but I would be surprised if their boring existance is not interrupted with a 'chat' from the HT.

I pulled a similar trick over something I wasn't happy about in one of my daughters schools. The teacher was removed from the class immediately, the riot act was read to the class and all the boys had a note to take to their parents to come in and speak to the HT - it was a little more serious then what you have described.

thanks for your support. you are right ds1 was completely unaware that he'd done anything and was very happy - so i'll hang on to that! he would tell me if any children said anything negative to him, which is what would concern me the most, so i'll wait and see. his class accept him for who he is and he's doing really well. it's the older kids who stare and giggle, but then they are children too and he usually wins them over if they spend time with him.
as for telling dh - it's really to protect myself - he's my rock and i can't cope with seeing him sad because then i really panic!

oh luckylady, it is moments like that, that I feel my most vulnerable, I would tell my dh and anyone who would listen to me, just because it helps me deal with the emotion.

It is good to hear that your ds is happy and accepted in his class and I think it was good that the ht tried to hold his hand...

I agree with pp about making the point about the unkind laughter to the school, I know it isn't an easy thing to do, but if you just let them know that you are upset and concerned about it then they can hopefully do something about it.

thanks - this morning's been swept aside as i was called in at home time to discuss ds1's refusal to do anything today and disruptive behaviour! now we've come home and he's pulled the curtain rail down! roll on bed time and wine.

We have lost so many curtain rails too LL. I really felt for you with the awards ceremony. I know that feeling, and sometimes I would happily annihilate children who laugh at my DS. But of course you boy was just happy, and as someone pointed out to me once, the (only?) good thing about autism is that our children are somehat protected from the pains of peer pressure and the desperate need to conform you see in NF kids, especially teenagers. Big hug to you. Do you know why he was disruptive particularly that day, had anything happened??

thanks aquariusmum - i think it was a combination of 3 wet playtimes over the course of the day for ds1 yesterday and it was the first week back i suppose.