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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

In-laws nagging me to get a "proper job"
7

elliejjtiny · 05/05/2022 14:21

Sat here fuming. I have a chronically ill DH and 5 dc who all have SN, some more severe than others. I claim carers allowance for caring for dc4. Dc5 also gets DLA, as does dc1 and I am currently filling in the forms for dc2.

I can manage but it's full on as you can imagine. Appointments, therapies and the endless form filling can feel like a full time job at times. Anyway, PIL have come round today and they are nagging me to get a job. Apparently there is "loads of jobs out there". There probably is but I don't have time and they just don't get it. During lockdown I really struggled to do home learning as well as my usual housework/admin/looking after the dc and dc2 took an overdose while I was busy dealing with dc5's meltdown. I was just stretched too thin and I can't go back to being like that which I know would happen if I tried to fit in a job as well.

I've got some ideas of how to make a bit of extra cash for if we get to the stage where I have a bit more time on my hands but I'm not there yet.

I'm tempted to tell them I'm applying for a job they would really disapprove of like a stripper or something.

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Ellie56 · 06/05/2022 21:52

So are they going to look after your chronically ill DH and 5 SEN children while you go out to work? Hmm

Ha thought not.

Tell the stupid twats to butt out.

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elliejjtiny · 06/05/2022 22:44

That would be a no. They are more than happy to look after BIL's NT children as much as they want but for some reason they don't fancy looking after my lot ever. No idea why, I mean who wouldn't want to look after an incontinent 9 year old Hmm. I will tell them to butt out, with the secure knowledge that I'm in the right and not the lazy person they seem to think I am.

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Ellie56 · 07/05/2022 12:34

How long were PILs there? I bet they didn't stay long enough to see what a whole day for you looks like.

Do you get any support from anyone else? Respite care for any of the children?

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Aswad · 08/05/2022 01:12

They sound kind dickheads. You’ve got enough on your plate.
next time, ‘pop’ to the shops and I’ll bet they’ll be calling you back in a minute

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Aswad · 08/05/2022 01:12

*like
definitely not kind

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elliejjtiny · 09/05/2022 12:58

Thankyou. They never stay long as they moan that the dc either don't communicate with them or are too loud. Thankfully we do get lots of help. No respite but we get support from the community inclusion team I think it's called who help me take the dc out in the school holidays. Children in need have helped us a lot as well. It's taken a while to sort out what works and what doesn't but we are managing ok. I just hate it when people who don't have a clue think they can tell me I'm doing it wrong.

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RaisingAgent · 09/05/2022 22:23

For absolute goodness sake, you sound like you're doing the most extraordinary job of caring for 6 other humans all with extra needs, what on actual earth are your PILs thinking in talking about you getting a job?! Honestly, that takes the absolute biscuit, it's like a bad joke Angry

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