Now what? - ADHD and autism diagnosis

[Neverendingwashingpile]

DD9 just received a diagnosis for ADHD and autism. I've been left feeling a bit... Now what?

How do I explain to DD so she feels having a diagnosis is a positive and can see some of the benefits of being neurodiverse.

On a day to day level it doesn't seems to be changing anything for dd. What can I read/look into to learn how to support her better?

There was some resources for ADHD in the report but strangely not for autism. We got the cats/dogs have autism/ADHD books but many of the traits don't apply to DD. She's got a mainly inattentive ADHD presentation and female/high functioning (for want of a better phrase) autism

Dd is aware of the meetings/assessments she's had and that they were to help see if there was anything they could do/find to see if they could help with her difficulties concentrating at school.

I'm feeling a bit lost of how to explain to DD. Healios (who we had the assessment through) just said I didn't have to tell her yet which I didn't find particularly helpful; as I do want to tell her. I just think what she knows of austim, she won't recognise in herself. The adhd will be easier but still feels like a daunting prospect.

Any help/advice/similar experience/pointer to resources would be very gratefully received.

The girl with the curly hair project has a lot of resources that are aimed particularly at autistic girls and women. Might be worth having a look:-

thegirlwiththecurlyhair.co.uk/

Also look at Purple Ella, Tania Marshall and Sarah Hendricks.

Are DD’s school providing any support?

Try ‘autisticnotweird’ (Chris Bonello) and Damien Milton’s work on double empathy.

Chris Bonello’s written a series where neurodivergent kids save the world - it’s called Underdogs.

Also, Sarah Gibbs and Joanne Limburg have written books about being autistic and female recently - aimed at grownups though!

Percy Jackson has ADHD in the books, and that’s quite a sensitive representation.

Thanks for pointers all look good. I'll work through them.

@ImitatingdoryImitatingdory
DD has a child's plan and school have been good, they're sensitive to dd's needs. This was in place before diagnosis. She has trouble completing work herself so she gets support from the teacher and teaching assistant spends time with her. We are going to have a meeting in a few weeks to discuss transition to new class after the summer and see if there's anything else they can do.

A supportive school always helps. If you need specific advice about school support in Scotland Enquire are a good source of information and have an advice line.

@Imitatingdory

Thank you that's helpful to know. It's difficult to know what to ask for, expect or what dd would be entitled to. You don't know what you don't know! I will definitely have a look at enquire.

The abilities in me book series has a book on autism. They are written for children so this might be a good way to help you explain to her and not see it as anything bad.

I believe they have one for adhd too.
. Sorry just re read your original post! X

@midnightreign

Thank you will have a look!

I hope you don't mind me posting on here. Your situation rather resonated with me, although my child is a boy not a girl.

Btw I have also posted this on another thread, if it seems familiar! Just looking for any support I can get atm.

Ds2, who just turned 11, received a diagnosis of autism today. ADHD, inattentive type, in the summer. I feel completely bamboozled. It was totally expected. He's been to various appointments since he was 2 & has had a full EHCP at school from the start. So this is just a formality, really. The medical professionals said that we won't be offered any help as there is nothing they can do & school are doing what they need to already.

I feel heartbroken, then I feel stupid for feeling heartbroken. They described him as finding the whole assessment very difficult, being mechanical & unresponsive. He can be like that. But he can also be the most charming & chattiest boy there is. The paediatrician has seen him like that & when the appointment overran we joked he was probably chatting too much & charming them.

Anyway, I'm waffling, sorry. Sending you all the best

Hi @confusedofengland
Of course I don't mind you posting. Sorry I didn't see it now. I think the diagnosis process is a bit lacking when parents are left feeling lost like we have been! I'm sorry about what they said about your Ds. Of course there is more to him than they're saying and they could have put it more kindly. My dd was the same in the assessment. Hers we're all over zoom and she really shut down in them. It's such a stressful thing.

I completely understand you feeling heart broken. I was upset when I found out and can be when I think about it or read something.

Logically I know it doesn't change my dd and that it just helps to explain the things she finds difficult and will help us continue to get the support she needs going forward (I am particularly worried about her going to secondary school) it's still upsetting thinking about how much they struggle with things.

Have you done any reading? I am finding that's helping. I've read can you see me by Libby Scott. Super book written from the perspective of an Autistic child.

Am reading the spectrum girls survival guide which I think will be good for dd and next on my list is perfect austitic. It is a post diagnosis support book for parents. I feel this way I'm doing something and getting informed.

It's a lot to get your head around even if expected. Be kind to yourself 🌸

Hi there! Have skim read thread, so apologies if this has already been suggested. My children (8 & 10) have LOVED the Libby Scott book 'Can You See Me'. We have it on Audible. My son is currently undergoing assessment and I think it's helped his older sister's empathy and him to recognise some of his behaviours, like stimming. He has already listened to the entire book twice this week-today is Thursday! (??evidence of the obsessive nature..LOL). I've listened and think it's well written; it's based on the little girl's diaries. There are 3 books in the series-10yo daughter has read them all in a very short timeframe.