Hair: A success story

[moira199]

Like most mothers of ASD children, both hair cuts and hair washing have been very difficult with my son for a long time - since birth really. The solution I found was to have his hair cut really short - a US marine style crew cut which lasts him for ages. Also, since he was so frightened of scissors, we worked on introducing him to the sound of hair clippers. We bought a set for home use and left them running while he was in the room. Eventually we built up to him running the clippers over his head himself ( cutting blade removed obviously). Then we took him to a traditional gentleman's barber near closing time in the hopes that it would be deserted. The man who shaved his hair was brilliant. The girls in the salon who used to attempt to cut his hair would just flutter nervously round the edges trying to get a snip here and there which made him worse. The barber was more firm and ignored protests which actually were not that bad.

That was months ago and we have not been back yet as his hair is still very short. It can be washed by rubbing a wet flannel over his head ( no dripping water in eyes) and he has even started to do this himself now.

Moira

ps - may not be suitable for girls although I think Demi Moore once did it for a film

that is great news Moira!

my ds had me in tears last time I took him for a hair cut Aug 07.. we have avoided taking him since, his fringe is getting a bit long now... we are going to look into getting a hairdresser to come to the house, cutting everyones hair... maybe not ds at first, but eventually!

I attempted trimming his fringe when he was asleep, I got one strand snipped then he rolled over onto his face

I have been pondering the same problem over this weekend and am about to attempt a similar solution. I already cut DPs hair with clippers so have ordered some bigger attachment combs for them so I don't have to give my DS (ASD) a number 2 all over. If I can get him used to the sound of the clippers etc, I should be able to give him a number 12 on top and shorter at the back and sides... I can't bear to cut his beautiful dark thick hair any shorter, but he does look like the hair bear bunch atm...

Clippers are v easy to use btw - i worked it out for myself (after a couple of 'mistakes' on DP )

I have a friend who comes to the house to do all our hair , which is lucky as he absolutely screams the place down and we have to hold down every limb (it's a 3 person job!). Last week though, he did not cry so much - not sure why: could be he's growing up, or it could be because she brought her special hairdressers gown which does up right round the neck and means hair doesn't go down the back of his shirt. He only really cried when we were doing his fringe and the hair was dropping on his face. Hairwash is still bad though - in fact I use it as a threat when he is being very naughty or has run off up the road and I have no other way of getting him back - you can only imagine what people think when they hear "come back here NOW OR I WILL WASH YOUR HAIR"! Good tips on flannel wash and glad things are going better Moira. Could ask my pal about coming to your house aefondkiss if you are in London anywhere?

thank you aquariusmum, pity I live in the very far North East of Scotland, really hope I can find someone locally who is as patient as your hairdresser!

I tried to get someone to come to the house but was not successful - not because of DS's issues but just that I could not find anyone who does home hairdressing which is strange as I live in Glasgow and there are loads of all kinds of services locally. I asked my own hairdresser if she could recommend anyone but she could not. She did mention that her husband who is also a hairdresser was climbing Mount Everest to raise money for the Scottish Society for Autism. I was so desperate at the time that I almost resented this thinking 'Why can't he just come and cut my son's hair!' I found a website which seemed to be full of contact details for hairdressing students who cut hair at home but all the email/mob contacts were dead. I even advertised locally but no one replied.

But I was probably just unlucky and I prefer the solution I have now even if I did get his latest nursery photo the day after showing him in best Little Lord Fauntleroy pose with flowing locks

Moira

We have had the same success with DS1 (severe ASD), DH cut his hair every Friday with a pair of clippers and we have gone from a screaming, sweating, three person fight to complete calm to the point DH does the cutting with no assitance from me now.

It did take a while, but I believe the consistancy helped to de-sensitise DS1 to the whole experience, which he found very hard sensory wise, especially around one ear in particular.

We probably could try him with a hairdresser again now, but he seems to like being a 'skin' like his dad and he doesn't seem to get so hot when bouncing away on his trampoline for hours with his short hair. It also make hairwashing and getting him ready for school in the morning so much easier.

DH is presently winding up MIL by saying DS2 (17 weeks old) is almost ready for his 'skin', she is horrorfied at the thought, as DS2 has really long hair that stands up like Rhydian, lol

Oh this is very reassuring. We've been taking DS2 to have his hair cut every week by a woman who used to work at his school, so well versed in ASD! He's gone from hysterical crying to simple squirming, but is still far from calm and she doesn't ever manage to get much off. But this gives me hope that eventually it will work and he'll get desensitised.

My son who has DS is a nightmare. We got it clippered really short by the hairdresser who cam to his school but even she has given up!
Last time I cut it when he came out the bath when his hair was wet - I think the dry hair itching him was what sent him crazy. Not much of a hairdresser though - I think I will need to keep cutting to get him used to it. Glad to hear things get easier

CAn recomend this method
DS has been having his head gone over with clippers once a month when I do his dads hair since he was big enough t0o sit on dads lap. Familiarity means hes quite happy to sit on dads lap for a few mins , being at home means we do it when hes in good mood, he can be done before dad or after or in teh middle, no waiting.
he loves being "shaved " after hair cut while dad sorts out his side burns with the beard trimmer.

Comapared to teh horror stories I hear about friends ( presumably NT) kids haircuts with tears,screams, bribary, multiple vists before a hair is cut We have it very easy . If I mis abit coz he in a fidgity mood no worries, I'll start in that corner next time.
No probs with MiL as SiL keeps her boys hair even shorter. I do a 4 all over, she does 1.