First Visit To Special School

[jakbrown]

Well, during my computer withdrawal phase, I also visited the first SLD school in the area and, blimey, did I miss Mumsnet that evening! It is a FANTASTIC school in so many ways but not geared up for children at the more 'classical' end of the autistic spectrum (the headmaster, who was very, very lovely, said as much in the first five minutes). But I was shocked by two things- firstly, I felt so emotional and tearful as the whole thing about DD going to school hit me. Then I got totally emotional about the children in the SLD class I visited. They were so absolutely amazing and gorgeous. They were doing 'numeracy' using a computer programme about 'five little ducks' and coming up to the screen to select the right number of ducks etc. One little boy had a PECS book and held up his number each time. They were just fantastic children. What amazed me was their enthusiasm to learn and the way they were reinforced by social praise, which is why I knew the approach wasn't right for dd (I don't mean that negatively).When I said I wasn't sure DD would sit on a chair, the teacher said 'that wasn't a problem and she would soon pick it up from the other children sitting on chairs and modelling it for her'. If 2000 children sat on chairs DD wouldn't give a hoot! But if somebody handed her a biscuit every time she sat on one, she just might!! ANyway, an emotional experience all round...

I know what you mean about the emotion hitting you Jak. At the first Xmas things we went to at DS's school I thought I would have to be carried out! I pulled it together luckily or how embarrassing would that have been?
I have to say that I felt like you, that there was no chance DS would learn from other children or by just "being" in a school setting but I was proved wrong! I'm not saying his progress rocketed or anything but he really did learn from being in a group, how you behave in that particular setting and by watching and copying the others. It was limited to simple things like finding his chair, lining up etc but I was very surprised. I think he has also learned to ask for things or to do things by being at school. In the old days he just used to help himself to things and would just go off upstairs if he wanted. Now he asks for things all the time that he could just do without asking, not just tangibles but to go on his trampoline, to go to the toilet (major), for one of us to go upstairs with him when he is tired etc etc. The only downside is that we are bombarded with requests all the time! If he had been on a VB prog his mands would be off the scale! Never thought we would complain about this

I'm taking ds1 to our favourite SLD/PMLD school on Tuesday- he goes to panel on Wednesday. DH and I visited last Monday and it was so perfect for him I almost ended up blubbing lots of times KNow what you mean about the copying- although he has just started to copy occasional things much to my surprise.

Jimjams - I hope it goes well for you on Tues AND Wed. I was wondering what stage you're at on this, so thanks for the update.

That's really interesting- it would be fantastic if DD did pick things up from a school setting . The school I've been to seen isn't the main one for autism. Apparently, when I see the unit at the other special school I'll feel like you, Jimjams, in that it's so brilliant. Going there in a week so will report all. Pixel's little boy is there! I think it's very hard to 'let go' when your child has been at home and you've been very involved...

True Jakbrown. because the mainstream school has been struggling I've been providing them with lots of things to do etc- and trying to pass on our Saturday stuff. I have to say I am looking forward to sending him somewhere where I know they'll know how to work with him. (fingers crossed he gets the place!)

Of course the downside is that your DD may learn "inappropriate" things from the other kids with SN, particuarly if there's a high level of children with ASD. However, in the 4 years that my DS was at home on a fulltime ABA prog he developed all sorts of behaviours and stims spontaneously which we may have put down to the other kids if he'd been in a special school. I'm sure he does pick things up from the others, although he's quite capable of doing it without them, but I think he "teaches" the others just as much!

Jakbrown, agree on how hard it is to let them go especially as they depend on us so much more than other children. But the staff really do understand and make it as easy as they can. You'll get lots of reassuring phone calls, home school book (I've filled one up already!) and we even got a video sent home last week of ds in the classroom, soft room and light room.

Davros, that was my biggest fear, that ds would pick up the wrong kinds of behaviours but so far it hasn't happened (touch wood!)

Jakbrown, I wan't to send you a cyber hug. DD started mainstream nursery a few weeks ago, the first session I was with her for an hour or so. I got so emotional. I just wanted to pick her up and go marching off home. Instead I very tearfully said to the nursery nurse about it not working & taking dd home. She looked at me as if I were mad!After this, I just couldn't understand why I had behaved in this way, but I've put it down to the closeness I have with dd. That's not saying I'm not close to ds, but I have "worked" so hard and at such a high, concentrated level, for 3 years of her little life. Of course it's going to be a big upheaval for us, and of course you need to feel sure that the setting is right.
After reading this post, the main thing that sticks in my head, is that our children aren't unlike any other children and in some ways perhaps we underestimate them at school. DS (NT) is the youngest in his year, and I worry about him settling in.I can still picture him in his first assembly, filing into the hall in silence, sitting down in a row, so regimental!!
The way he behaves at school amazes me. Why should we think that in their own little ways our SNs children won't do the same.
Thank you for this post, sorry for the waffle, but this has really put a lot of things into perspective for me!

yes it is very emotional. my dd's first school took 2 - 7 yr olds (SN) and dd was 3 whewn she started. i had to stay with her the first day and horrible as it sounds I still thought it would be a miracle cure for dd and she would still 'catch up'. i felt sick to the stomach that day I spent there, thinking this wasnt what I had planned for my little dd. How ridiculous. the school was wonderful! and dd did really well there.

She now goes to another special school that take 4-19 year olds and it is a great school. Big step though i think, letting the go to special school - however much they may need it.

davros I had to laugh at learning 'inappropriate' behaviour. Lots of the children at dd's school have challenging behaviour and she does learn some little 'gems'!!!

Christie, you sound GREAT!!! Sorry, didn't mean to be negative about the school. I really thought it was fantastic. I suppose having done an ABA style programme for the past year or so you kind of get stuck in that way of thinking. Dingle, bless you wanting to take DD out of nursery! Totally understand that feeling. ANd thanks for the cyber-hug. Pixel, your school really does sound great, I've heard such brilliant things about it. Fingers crossed for a place!