i dont think i can go through all this again with the LEA

[jenk1]

i sent off the form to sendist to appeal against the lea,s decision not to asess dd.

she is 3.9 in sn nursery and has hemiplegia, speech difficulties,incontinence and suspected ASD.
and they said no to an asessment.

i dont think ive got the strength to do more tribunals, ive done 3 with mike and it made me ill.

but im scared about the prospect of home edding dd, she,s much more severe than mike ever was and takes up a lot of time/attention.

im going to have to do battle with nursery soon over her potty training and i dont want to, i just dont know what to do for the best.

What about seeing if Marion at SOSSEN can help - she is a real fighter and sounds like the kind of person you need in your corner. To not assess your child is ludicrous - if you want, I'll draft you a letter to the LEA's overall Head of SEN, with threats of MPs, press coverage etc. Maybe then they will give in quicker. God, I feel for you Jenk1. I am going through it once, but 3 times!!! It is one of those days I think, I also feel a bit hopeless about the fight ahead to keep my DS in mainstream, which is of course his legal right but no-one seems to have told the schools that! Big hug to you. The offer of writing is genuine - it's one thing I can actually do and would be happy to draft a tough, legalese, very politely but definitely threatening letter - it's what I do best as I used to work in PR!

thanks very much for the kind offer to write me a letter thats really nice of you.

dd doesnt want to go to nursery, she goes into private childcare in the morning which she loves as thats just play and no pressure but its the education in the afternoon she gets upset over.

on a friday evening she,s happy smiling and saying yay no school tomorrow no school the next day and then on a sunday afternoon she turns into a wailing and generally upset child who says no education tomorrow, just crystal (who looks after her in the morning)

i feel awful i really do, i was looking forward to having time to myself after mike being at home for 2 years (that sounds really selfish doesnt it) and now we,ve just got the camhs appointment through and if they dare suggest medicating her i wont be responsible for my actions.

i know what ive got to do, im just scared cos i dont know what ill "do with her" IYKWIM, she,s a completely different kettle of fish to mike.

She is virtually the same age as my DS (Feb 03 birthdate) and I know legally he doesn't have to be in school till next Easter term (rising five term I think). No it's not selfish to want time for yourself, I too am looking forward to the school hols being over so I can regain my sanity. I always liken it to the advice you get on planes - contrary to your instincts, the adult must actually put on their oxygen mask first, or they won't be able to get the child's on. In other words, if we lose our marbles because we don't get a break, we won't be able to care for our kids. So IMHO breaks for SEN mums are crucial, not just nice-to-have! They are having a laugh not giving you an assessment, the whole process is just a case of "say no to everyone and see who's got the strength to sue"! Do you get time off at least when the childminder comes as I think some jenk1-time is essential?

the private childcare is run by the nursery, its a different part to the education bit.

she goes there from 8.30 to 12.30.

but the money for that is stopping this month as me and dh are no longer together and im not working so wftc wont pay.

xdh works shifts mornings one week and evenings the next and has said he will help out with her and i trust him to so i will get time out there.

i know for a fact she will not cope in mainstream school and tbh its not really fair for us to adopt a "wait and see" approach like the lea want us to cos i know the outcome.

going to have a talk with xdh tonight and see what he thinks.

should add that we were thinking of doing this last month and the specialist hv asked us to wait until camhs had seen her as they can give nursery a kick up the backside but the letter from camhs says appointments are several months off.

they werent able to kick mikes school up the backside even with the consultant coming to meetings with us and his old school they completely ignored what they were telling them about mikes difficulties.

I am glad your xdh will help Jenk1, but did not realise you are on your own with all this too! It is very hard. A drink for you tonight might be on the cards, I think - or whatever it is that helps you cope. Are you in Surrey, I could babysit now and again if so?

other end of the country-lancashire!!!!

xdh thinks we should at least wait and see what camhs say before doing anything yet, we also see the new paed next weds so maybe she could do something.

Are you planning SN school then Jenk?

We accept kids at 2.10 so would it be worth speaking to a SN head?

(sorry to hear about break up btw , haven't been around much lately, always followed your problems before)

was planning on mainstream but dont think she will cope there, so will have to look around at the SN schools in our area.

LEAs are $%&(&^% !

I guess the thing is that you were in a strong position with your son, because it was PROVED that he couldn't cope without the statement. I guess your success here will rest on if you can prove the same for R.

IME, LEAs are relatively successful at Tribunal for refusing to assess younger kids. My son only got his statement aged 3/4 because nursery had to have full time one to one for him because of his violent and dangerous behaviour. Does R need one-t-one at nursery and get it? Because that should help your case.