Bath Fears

[moira199]

I have a son who was diagnosed with ASD last September, he is now 3 and 3/4 - will be 4 in March! I don't really know how to place him on the spectrum but no doubt all will be revealed as he gets older.

We are very lucky as although he has the famous triad of impairments, he has very few classic ASD traits. He sleeps very well, eats very well, is placid and non problematic to take out in public and is very affectionate. A few months ago, actually just after the official diagnosis, he started to speak and can now say about 50 words and a few 2-3 word phrases. His pronunciation is poor but the nursery staff can understand him so I am not just a deluded mother. I was not expecting much from his 'Christmas reaction' as he ignored it last year but actually he pointed to and said 'Keemass tee' - as I said pronunciation is not his strong point. He seemed to understand that there were toys under the wrapping paper so opened his presents quickly and later sat reasonably still for a family christmas meal.

The only real problem we have is that although since infancy he has loved baths, he has now decided that he hates them and is very hard to wash. Fortunately he still loves brushing his teeth so it could be worse! Has anyone ever solved a problem like this? We have no idea what started the bath phobia. He still loves water play at nursery and jumping in puddles so he is not scared of water.

Thanks for any suggestions and I hope I can contribute what little I know to others' dilemmas

Moira

My boy sounds very similar, except he loves baths but is phobic about hairwash - could that be the case for your boy. In the end, we go out of the room and leave him in bath, at which stage he knows there is no hair wash likely and splashes around very happily. Just a thought. The prononciation issues sound very much the same as my DS's, as do the characteristics.

ds1 (aspergers) hated baths for years so we didn't bother. Small children don't smell and he would let us flannel wash face hands and neck so he looked pretty clean too.
He's still a bit funny but now he's 14 I hassle him into the shower cos teenagers do smell.
Now, if only I could get his hair cut or brushed.....he loooks like weird Al Yankovic

Showers - sometimes children will accept a shower but not a bath.
Swimming - I find going swimming to be a good way of getting children clean. Fun leisure pool, where they can play in the water.

Hi

Your son sounds so so similar to mine and we had a few problems with the bath about a year ago when he went from loving it to screaming and being terrified!
If I remember (?) we cut out the hair wash as this always causes tears and still does; we ensured his bottom wasn't sore as sometimes if he had this he would for good reason get upset when he sat down.
He also went through a stage of being scared of bubble bath, loved it one minute, terrifed the next, so we got rid of this. He likes it now.
We also made the bath cooler as he was very sensitive to temperatures at that time. Brought some new toys that he really liked and only got to pay with in the bath and I think we may have even changed the time of the bath for a while and used a bubble machine to get him in the bathroom! The things you do!

Now he loves the bath and would be in one all day. It was a struggle but we got there in the end.

Good luck and I hope somethings stands out as an option for you, as I know what it's like and you are never on your own xxx

Thanks for all the advice. I tried something new this afternoon. I put a washing up bowl filled with hot water and bubble bath in the kitchen. He shouted 'bubbles' and jumped in - with his clothes on! He splashed about for ages then finally took his clothes off to have a soak - as best he could in such a small 'bath'. He even said 'please' for the first time as in 'bubbles please' to get us to put more in. We are going to get him his own baby bath now (hopefully a big one) so he can have old fashioned baths in the kitchen in front of the fire (well radiator).

The only explanation for the bath rejection is that he once claimed the bath was 'doity' - dirty because his younger brother James had been in before him. I suppose he will be demanding an en suite soon!

Moira

That's excellent news! It reminded me of my daugther having an accident in the bath when a baby and this probably didn't help the situation for my son!!! tee hee x

Oh, he sounds lovely! I'm another one with a placid DS with ASD. They sound very similar indeed, except your DS's speech sounds a bit more advanced. DS2 says 'Kreemass' for Christmas (but also for 'crisp' which can get a bit confusing!) We also went through a similar thing with bath time about a year and a half ago (when DS2 would have been the same age as your DS). He would stand up, but refused to sit down and just kept saying 'dry, dry' over and over again. We just went over him with a flannel and eventually he started sitting down again. Now he demands 'ba-time' every night! Your washing up bowl idea was a great one - wish I'd thought of it at the time. Have you got any ideas for hair washing?

We have kind of made the hair wash thing a little more easier by only doing it once a month or something (the hair is wonderful at self cleaning!) I wet my sons hair with a flannel and he adds the shampoo if things are going well, or I do it without him clicking;usually a game or something. I then tell him that it will only take 1-10 to count the rinsing and then it's all done. It is still a struggle but he doesn't throw himself out of the bath anymore.

My son also stood in the bath for about a month or 2 before he 'recovered' from his period of anxiety about sitting in it.

I think it may have helped that when I am in the bath, he watches me rinse my hair and he adds the shampoo and rubs it on my head. He also does it for his sister (she is very patient..)

I hope the extra mind power you have to put into this planning is slimming!!! xxx