DS1 will be 5 in May. He’s always been ‘full on’. Over the last year or so we have really struggled with his behaviour but we don’t know whether it’s our expectations that are out of line or whether he needs support with something. He has been through a lot in this period - I was very ill (emergency surgery), then pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. He started school in September. Obviously there’s the pandemic. He became a big brother at the end of the year and we all had covid in January.
He is struggling at school despite being very bright. His teacher says the main issue is that he doesn’t get the idea of rules as something that needs to apply to him. It’s not that he deliberately misbehaves much. It’s just he doesn’t seem to understand this aspect of how social interaction works - that sometimes you have to follow the rules/do what others are doing. So he repeatedly questions and tries to reason his way out of a situation and it happens over and over again with the same rules/circumstances. They explain to him why he can’t do something and the next day he’ll start the conversation all over again.
He has always been very strong willed and emotionally intense. He struggles with transitions from one place or activity to another.
He is extremely physically affectionate - a bit too much so at times. He hugs so hard he can hurt and can’t seem to grasp what the problem is with this. He seems to need to be touching me or his dad (or now his brother) all the time. He will engage strangers in conversation at the drop of a hat and would hug them if not prevented.
He also does slightly strange things that come and go like going through periods of licking me and his dad and random objects.
He’s ahead in most areas at school though he struggles with the physical act of writing. He seems to fall a lot though the way he leaps about all the time it’s hardly surprising. He is apparently well liked by other pupils but struggles to join in because he wants to be in control of the play that’s happening.
Today has been a tough day. I took him to an activity and he simply would not do what any of the other children were doing because it wasn’t what he wanted to do. He interrupted and argued and ran around. In the end we had to leave and I felt really upset.
I don’t know whether any of this merits any kind of investigation. If it does where do we start? School see him as having some difficulties but haven’t mentioned a formal assessment. Do we look for a counsellor or a psychologist or someone else?
Thank you!