Getting Dressed… PDA?

[Remy82]

My 4yo DS is on the ‘pathway’ assessments for diagnoses with ASD - we are fairly certain he has ASD based on his communication, socially and other, albeit seemingly mild behaviours - lots of stimming through jumping and dancing! he’s a brilliant kid and we are fortunate he presenting relatively straightforward needs at present especially day to day - he eats fairly well, sleeps fairly well, goes to both a mainstream and specialist setting which he thrives in. Our main cause of stress currently, and this may seem trivial to some, is getting him dressed. He is mostly non verbal so isn’t able to articulate what he dislikes so much about the process - but I don’t think it’s the clothes themselves, he dislikes labels but those are always removed, and once clothes are on he seems relaxed and accepting of wearing them. But actually getting him dress is becoming so stressful. He refuses, we have to physically force the clothes onto him, especially over his head… it makes us feel awful for him… anyone any advice or experience helping create a more positive getting dressed experience?

Have you tried setting out two or three different outfits and letting him choose which one, and letting him dress himself, if he is able? Or, if the choice isn't overwhelming, helping him choose the night before, and leaving them out for him?

If he has to wear a particular uniform, have a word with the setting about flexing that, and see if a degree of choice helps?

If these things don't help, perhaps there is anxiety about what happens once he has these clothes on?

Thank you @Equalbutdifferent sounds silly but I hadn’t thought to set out a few options… I’ve been so focussed on just getting it done asap. I will try this tomorrow morning. Agree about the possibility of anxiety around what happens once they’re on… xx

And it doesn't sound trivial. It's a real dilemma if you are under pressure to get places, but forcing the issue leads him into a state of dysregulation, which is upsetting, and not going to be compatible with him being receptive to learning.

If this is ASD-related it's worth thinking about it as an expression of anxiety, and being kind to all of you. If you need to take a bit longer in order for everyone to remain calm, (and that's an option with work etc) accept that this may be an area where you need to cut yourselves a bit of slack at the moment.

If DS is worse with items over his head it may well be a sensory problem. It may also partly be that it blocks his vision so he doesn’t feel in control. Would it be easier if you tried clothes that don’t have to go over his head e.g. shirts rather than t shirts, cardigans or zip up hoodies rather than jumpers?

Thank you @Equalbutdifferent💕

@Imitatingdory Thank you, certainly could try more of these clothing types. It’s a bit confusing because he has no problem whatsoever with PJs that go over his head… so perhaps is more to do with what happens after he is dressed… or at least me not explaining well enough what will happen once he is dressed! Outfits ready and some more images for visuals so let’s see how tomorrow goes 🙌🏼

PJ tops tend to be wider with more give than day T-shirts. One way of solving whether it is the clothes themselves or the wider morning experience is trying a PJ top in the morning.

Visuals on a now and next board. Ie. get dressed next breakfast
Or even a proper schedule if necessary.

@Sswhinesthebest do you have any advice on using a schedule? We’ve tried now and next boards but inconsistently, he doesn’t seem very receptive to them xx

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