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Childcare pulled with zero notice... impact on SEN child

6 replies

ThisMustBeMyDream · 01/03/2022 22:35

As always, childcare is once again the bane of my life. I'm a single parent to a 9 year old who has autism and adhd, and 6 year old NT. Their father buggered off years ago before the youngest was born. I have a boyfriend, but he has his own work, and a child, and we don't live together full time. I also have a 19 year old son, but he goes off to uni this year. I have no family near by - my parents moved away separately, and I'm an only child.
I have fought tooth and nail to keep my career going for years (I'm a midwife). I've shed so many tears (and pounds) on childcare, it is beyond ridiculous. 20 years of childcare juggling, and it has never ever gotten any better in that time.

Yet again the wool has been pulled from under us. After school club have just, with no notice, changed the finish time from 5.45 to 5.15, meaning I have no childcare as I can't guarantee getting there for 5.15 due to the nature of my work. I finish at 5, but as most women who have needed a midwife know, sometimes you can't just immediately up sticks and walk out. I need the buffer of time there. It's about a 15/20 min drive, occasionally longer if bad traffic. So 5.15 is just impossible to say yeah, I'll be there. Because there's a strong chance I won't be!

There are no alternative options. A childminder who yesterday agreed to do the pick ups, today pulled out of the agreement. And the only other childminder no longer picks up from the school.

So I'm left with one option (other than giving up work). That is to move schools. I can honestly say I feel like I am going to throw up when I think about that option. I feel absolutely torn with guilt, pain, anger... I could go on. Moving a child with SEN to a new school, in year 4, when he is in a school who can both handle him, and with children who understand his quirks. Well, it is an unbearable thought. My child is going to suffer massively because there is no sodding childcare!!! Anyone as a parent of an SEN child knows that a supportive school is like bloody gold dust. Moving him is absolutely not in his best interest. Nor is giving up work, and a decent income/pension to support him with. I just feel fucked every which way right now. And just so..... angry.

OP posts:
orinocosfavoritecake · 02/03/2022 07:30

Can you and other parents lobby the afterschool club to stay open longer?

Lookingforatimeslip · 02/03/2022 07:59

Oh OP how gutting. I have two children with Sen so know what having a supportive school means. What about an au pair? Have you tried a childcare agency? What about a local Facebook group to see if anyone can recommend. Some after school clubs here do school pickups. What about speaking to the after school club? Seeing if they can suggest anything.

boobybum · 02/03/2022 09:48

Do you have a disability social worker involved at all? Is there any chance of accessing direct payments or getting details of other specialist childcare providers? Also we have had some success using websites such as childcare.co.uk to find people.
Would it be worth contacting your SEN team and speaking to them (I presuming your dc has an EHCP).

Good luck.

orinocosfavoritecake · 02/03/2022 11:22

It does seem absurd that they can cut hours like that without notice - surely you won’t be the only angry parent?

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 03/03/2022 14:46

That is absolutely awful. Agree with lobbying for a later closure or at least some notice

Do you live near the school? Presumably the workers at the after school club won’t be too happy with their wages being cut 2.5 hours per week. I wonder if they would be happy to be paid to walk your DC home and wait with them until you got back ?

Lookingforatimeslip · 03/03/2022 15:44

What about your 19 year old? Could he help whilst you work out what to do? It’s so difficult to hold a job when you have children with Sen. I gave up mine for 8 years as the kids at just couldn’t be in nursery. I only work now as I’ve got a work from home role. How long it’ll last I don’t know as the company isn’t doing well. Maybe reach out to other parents and see if anyone else is unhappy?

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