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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Son hurt me today

25 replies

lottiejenkins · 30/12/2007 21:22

My ds got so violent today, throwing the cutlery around at the table and punched and headbutted me too, we were at my mums and he'd been told he wasnt having the babysitter he wanted tomorrow night, hes 11 yrs old profoundly deaf, dyspraxic and with behavioural probs,,,,, i had to get him into the hall by myself so he didnt go for my mum sister and my niece...... i now have a set of bruised lips and a bruised chin and have decided not to go out tomorrow night. Dont know what anyone can say but wanted to get it off my chest............

OP posts:

mymatemax · 30/12/2007 21:54

Sorry you've such a horrible day - are you sure you can't still go out tomorrow? Is that what he wants?

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 30/12/2007 22:12

Theres no one to have him now, cant ask my dnephew to babysit now and cant ask mum to have him.... the upside is i wont be spending any money and wont have a sore head on nyd!

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mymatemax · 30/12/2007 22:19

I am at home too but have dh's family coming so will need plenty of drink & maybe a sore head.
Were you going anywhere nice?

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 30/12/2007 22:23

Only to the pub to see some friends, may have neighbours round instead...........

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MulledWino · 30/12/2007 22:28

((Lottie)) I know how difficult it is to get out on NYE (or any time really but especially then re babysitter issues!). We braved it last year, but due to DS's behaviour deterioration, no chance this year even though we've been invited to a party. All the others take their children and put them to bed (or let them ramage!) upstairs. There is no way we woulf ever do this. Who were you going out with? Any chance of having a fun night in instead? (Games night or similar)?

So sorry to hear about the violence. I'm in a similar position except that DS is only 7 at the moment. Am assuming there's worse to come.

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 30/12/2007 22:34

Thanx Mulled and Max for your support..................

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mymatemax · 30/12/2007 23:03

I hope you have a good night, our friends are all going to Aldeburgh for a meal & then back to one of their houses.
I'll be pouring Tea for my t total SIL & BIL, but never mind more wine for me!
Happy new year

yurt1 · 31/12/2007 09:23

ah yes I do know who mulled wino is. I guessed right Sympathy- I am covered in bruises from ds1 (although his is usually - not always- misplaced interaction rather than because he's cross). In fact am on here because I walked away after he pushed me over. No answers, but plenty of "I know how you feel'. He's 8, I worry about when he's bigger.

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 31/12/2007 09:43

thanks for replying Yurt, am not sure what sort of a day im in for hes been grumpy and demanding ever since he woke up...............

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yurt1 · 31/12/2007 09:47

ONe of my stuck records is to wonder why parents don't get more help in dealing with the phsyical side.

Ds1 is in a foul mood. Screaming at 7am because a taxi had parked in the street (apparently in ds1's world taxis don't park, they stop to pick people up then drive off again). Here's to 2008

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 31/12/2007 09:53

I have done Unisafe training Yurt which is ok but when hes screaming and trying to hurt me it tends to all go out the window!!

OP posts:

MulledWino · 31/12/2007 12:02

I have asked for Unisafe training and it is being considered (apparently: will believe it when I see it!) for a new local SN family Centre local to us.

Re "physical stuff", and in particular, in this case, lifting/manual handling, which naturally, we as parents get absolutely NO help with whatsoever while all the people who work with our DC get it by law, , if anyone would still like to sign my House of Commons peition to ask for manual handling training for parents of disabled children, then it's here. Please feel free to pass it on to others in your circles. Sorry to gate crash a bit with this..

yurt1 · 31/12/2007 12:10

Signed- and timely as my back went (again) last night. Presumably from having to shove ds1 up the first to we went to yesterday (and up the stairs). I know its not quite the same, but I would love some sort of handling training for when he is being physical and challenging.

yurt1 · 31/12/2007 12:29

actually not signed as the confirmation email hasn't come though....

MulledWino · 31/12/2007 12:34

They are probably having a long, extended break Yurt, they are the government! after all..

And yes I thought you'd figure out who I was without too much thought .. not that I'm actually hiding; I've stated who I am on quite a few threads but I'd probably need to have suicidal tendencies to have stated my usual name on that thread the other night! (I tried not to post on it, I really did!) And actually, I upset some extended breast feeders just before Christmas, under this name, which is fairly bizarre as I was one!! Maybe this name does make me more controversial.. [ponders]

Original poster

lottiejenkins · 31/12/2007 12:36

Have signed it and got my email through,,,,,,,,,,,,will make sure my friends know about it too.............

OP posts:

yurt1 · 31/12/2007 12:38

ha ha I always upset extended breastfeeders as well which I find amusing as I fed ds2 for over 2 years (and have spent almost 4 years of my life feeding ) I know what you mean about threads you really don't want to post on pulling you in. DH made me delete the post I was going to make on that thread last night (thank god- he was right!)

MulledWino · 31/12/2007 12:40

Yurt, almost exactly the same stats re breastfeeding here! I think you and I are living strange, parallel (and often miserable! ) existences!!

yurt1 · 31/12/2007 12:45

I daren't ask how your Christmas was then

MulledWino · 31/12/2007 13:02

Not great but could have been worse I suppose.. there is a thread about an aspect of it here. Small thing in the great scheme of things however..

Each new year (specifically today!) I want to look forward/feel positive about the coming year, and for years I did (foolishly) thinking "this year'll be better..".. but now I just have a sense of forboding because each year developments with DS makes things worse than the previous year.. do you feel this way?! This past year I have been on anti depressants for 5 months (which is a first for me). I'm off them now.. but wondering if I should be.. Sorry for banging on!

Particularly on your thread Lottie (re banging on)! But at least you know you are not alone; I find that really helps in a way, not that I would wish these situations on anyone. But it feels so isolating doesn't it, when al the people you know, in your everyday circle, don't have to deal with violent children and are clearly horrified that we do.. and start staying away because of it.. DH has just had a bad choking fit because DS got hold of his throat (voice box) and crushed it as hard as he could. He had just been sitting on his lap and then he did that without warning! He seems to feed off the reactions of pain he gets from people. DD (9) had to rescue her dad.. DH suffers more than me; DS is obsessed with his dad for some reason.

yurt1 · 31/12/2007 17:10

yes, I do in many ways. Although I had a really good set of counselling sessions for 6 months this year (has really helped to cope with things like you mention on the other thread). It's weird this year because ds1 has made a lot of progress in some ways, but is becoming more and more unmanageable in others. It is so difficult to take him anywhere now so each year it feels as if our world contracts a little more.

We don't see anyone who can;t cope with ds1 anymore (unless they're family)- this is partly my choice- I can't be arsed. I am now working again which helps.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 01/01/2008 18:16

Oh God yes, Yurt, our world contracts a little more each year too. But I fear that if we stop making any effort to see people who can't cope with being around DS, then we won't see anyone. Except professionals. And I don't think I'm even exaggerating thinking about it

Have you see Mummy2Arron's thread.. here

yurt1 · 01/01/2008 21:48

It makes me so resentful though. I have enough SN friends then a few NT friends who have hung on in there (& are loved doubly for it) that I just avoid the others...... Actually the one thing that surprised me (and I'm very grateful for it) is that the mother's of ds2's schoolfriends have been great. Don't know whether he's just been great at picking friends or whether we're just lucky (he's managed to end up in a class where a ridiculous number of parents have experience of SLD schools!) but they've been brilliant, and helful without needing to be asked.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 02/01/2008 12:02

That's great Perhaps we have similar experiences waiting for us as am getting DS into special school as soon as I possible can; we made that decision over Christmas. School have already agreeed (over Christmas, by email!) to call an early annual review to get his statement changed as necessary. They are probably as desperate as us for this!

yurt1 · 02/01/2008 12:44

oh good- hope it happens quickly for you. Honestly our life improved dramatically with the move to special school (just had to put up with months of people telling me how ill I'd looked for the previous year ) DS1's too- his school is great for him.

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