Once diagnosed with any ASD what help does the child get?

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Hello all, long time lurker, first time posting a proper thread with my worries. My eldest son who's 8 has some behavioural difficulties. For many years we have brushed it under the carpet saying it's age etc but the last 2 mornings he has had a full on tantrum about getting his shoes on to go to the school to the point he's kicking , hitting , throwing things and screaming and crying. He does this when he plays a computer game sometimes so we've taken that away but I'm getting more and more concerned. I feel he has no respect for us. I am crying and stressed and worried. I am going to phone the GP (I did mention this to the school last year but he was forgotten as they can't believe this good , intelligent, sweet boy at school displays this behaviour at home and throughout from nursery I have mentioned it to school but they never done anything) but I was wondering eventually if he diagnosed with something what extra support or help do we get as parents ? (As in school he's ok?) I'm so confused and depressed about this whole thing and Mumsnet has been wonderful for advice generally x

There isnt a huge amount of help sadly. However I was sent on a cygnet course which was one week long and very useful for me. Some areas do that before diagnosis. I also was referred to the national autistic society who gave us a parent support session which was good, again they now do this for people on the waiting list.

The thing it did change was the attitude of professionals to a more positive one (eg teachers, doctors) which is subtle but it did help.
and it meant some specific things like schools for children with ASD were opened up to us.

The only ‘help’ my DD gets is that she’s entitled to sit any tests or exams in a separate room and may be allowed extra time (they will test her when she’s older to determine how much time).

Other than that, no help or support at all.

Hi @Onionpatch thank you so much for replying. The cygnet course sounds good do you have to go through your GP for this? I was thinking about private psychiatric help but just unsure before spending 1000s what will be the outcome ...

Cahms sent us on the cygnet course. You could try your gp as oir go sent us to cahms.

Ok thanks @Onionpatch

Thanks @MazzleDazzle I am not sure what particular help we would require unless it was counselling I guess

Tantrum or meltdown?

A diagnosis doesn’t necessarily bring with it more support. Many parents find their DC are diagnosed then discharged. Support, such as at school, should be based on needs, rather than a diagnosis.

Just because DS appears OK at school but not at home doesn’t necessarily mean the problem lies at home. It isn’t unusual for DC to mask at school and explode at home, it’s known as the coke bottle effect, and means there are unmet needs at school. Having those unmet needs supported is likely to improve life at home too. You can apply for an EHCNA if you feel DS needs more support at school. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

Are the school providing any support - ELSA, social skills, OT, SALT etc.

You can ask for social care assessments - an assessment by the disabled children’s team for DS and a carer’s assessment for you.

Do you get DLA for DS?

Ok so a lot of info. I didn't manage to make an appt as a friend said 'theres nothing wrong with him and why do I want to.label him etc '

Tantrum or meltdown erm I'm not entirely sure but I know I can't control him when he's in it if that makes sense. He didn't want to put socks on or shoes I even pretended I was leaving with the little one as we were going to be late but it didn't bother him that much. I did tell the teacher today as is as distraught he said he would keep an eye on him...
What is DLA?

Diagnosis, not label. Would your friend say th same thing about a physical condition such as asthma or diabetes? And would you listen?

I suggest they are meltdowns.

DLA is Disability living allowance, you don't need a diagnosis to apply.