Milestones and a reality check

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So our DS 4.5 is on the path to a ASD diagnosis focusing on social and communication. He has a 30 hour EHCP but has been making significant progress. He passed his 24 month ASQ, but failed the 36 month one. Recently he passed the 48 month one. I can almost have a conversation with him and he has started to report his day. Other progress includes his pre writing skills and he is now able to draw basic shapes and faces with basic features. He's also bright with a large vocab. I was thinking to myself it's only a matter of time before he shakes off his problems.

On the weekend I took him to a 25 minute tennis taster session with other 4 and 5 year olds. I know he can hit a ball. There were 3 boys and 3 girls there and mine wasn't listening to instructions. He wanted to do his own thing like pretend to eat the ball or pretend the ball was his nose or pick up the racket and other apparatus when they were just doing shuttles. There were multiple transitions in a short space of time and it was a complete failure. I was the only parent at the session. The three girls were more compliant than the boys. School have complained and written on the EHCP forms that he doesn't follow adult led activity and I completely understand their point of view. Whereas I can read to him for 30 minutes with good levels of concentration etc I just can't see how he will survive in school without his 1 to 1. If anyone has similar experiences I'm all ears!

What’s your fear? That he will lose the EHCP support because he’s made some progress? All children make progress and the hope is that they do even with an EHCP. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t still need support, as you’ve seen from the tennis lesson.

ASQ do a longer social emotional questionnaire, have you had a look at that?

As open said it would be useful to understand more about your worries.

DD was Dx'ed at 4 despite having a big vocab and being able to hold conversation with adults etc. However, she does get easily overwhelmed and although it manifests in different ways to your DS she would also struggle with new situations and is less motivated than most kids to "go with the crowd" and just do what everybody else is doing.

She doesn't have EHCP so I can't speak to that part, but had no problem getting a diagnosis if that's the bit you are worried about. Even though I thought she aced the ADOS (she was engaged, funny and charming to my eyes but then I am of course biased!) they still saw differences that they identified as clearly ASC.

Have been thinking about this. We’re in a similar-ish situation.

DS is five, ridiculously clever and probably autistic. It seems reasonable to assume that he’ll be smart and autistic for the rest of his life. He won’t outgrow it - and so in that sense he won’t ‘shake off his problems’.

And I’m sure he’d have crashed and burned at that tennis lesson!

But that doesn’t mean he can’t have a happy, fulfilled, successful life.

The ASD diagnosis is of little concern now. We have a EHCP so whether it's classed as a social communication disorder or ASD is immaterial.

Our main concerns were whatever the school was presenting us with plus challenging behaviour at home. Speech delay, writing delay and a lack of social skills, not to mention he didnt start potty training till 3.5. He's improved tremendously in all of these areas and in that sense he is brushing off his problems.

Long term I would like to wean him off the one to one support he has but it's definitely not possible now.