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Sibling Birthday Guilt

5 replies

r3dh3d · 22/12/2007 07:43

Feeble Woe Is Me post - sorry.

Yesterday was DD2's 2nd birthday. We asked her what she wanted to do on her birthday; she said "go on a bus". As we weren't sure how exciting that would actually be we decided to take her to the London Aquarium and then on one of those double decker bus trips afterwards. DD1 was due to be in school but my parents were organised to be in when she got home early (last day) as long as we were back by mid-afternoon.

Just as we were setting out so I guess at 9:05 or something, I get a call from the deputy head saying DD1 has been sick and I have to pick her up and take her home. DD1, I must explain, is sick from time to time. Was always a sicky baby, and if (as now) she has a bit of a cold and swallows a lot of mucus, sometimes it comes back up again. It doesn't help if you lift her out of the taxi in a sort of Heimlich manoevre. But school were convinced she had a D&V bug and had to be evacuated asap.

So I go round there. "Oooh, she's terribly pale" say the staff. DD1 is grinning up at me like a loon. Of course, she was as right as chuffin' ninepence, nowt wrong with her whatsoever.

It's a very long way to DD1's school and back and meanwhile DH is trying to sort out someone to have DD1. We finally got into London with DD2 just before lunch: whizzed round the Aquarium, long queues for lunch in Giraffe, and then home. No time for a bus ride, which is what she actually asked for on the first birthday she has been able to understand.

I know that this was nobody's fault - certainally not DD1's and not school because I guess they have rules about this sort of thing. And I know that it might have happened if DD1 was NT (though the whole who-picks-her-up-and-who-has-her thing would have been much easier, we could probably have got someone else to do it). But all the same, we made a huge effort to make DD2's birthday the one day that was about "her" and not DD1 - and still we let DD1 ruin it for her.

OP posts:
emkana · 22/12/2007 08:38

I'm so sorry

I can totally understand why you feel upset, but I'm sure dd2 had a lovely time regardless and forgot all about the bus ride.

Have a (((hug)))

lyra41 · 22/12/2007 08:53

But she's only 2 and has no concept of time yet. can you not just take her for a little ride on a bus today? I'm susre she will find it v exciting, especially if you go up to the top deck etc. We took ds2 aged nearly 2 on a bus trip and he loved it. left the buggy at home and just went for a little ride. Cheap and simple fun.

Sidge · 22/12/2007 09:29

Oh poor you, I can understand why you feel sad. Have a big hug ((()))

Agree with lyra, I bet if you take her today or tomorrow she will be just as chuffed. Is that do-able at the weekend with DD1 as well? Or could you do it another day?

pagwatch · 22/12/2007 17:21

You didn't let DD1 ruin it. Life just intervened.
I have one sn boy and two nt kids and trust me - the times they have had to compromise to fit around DS2 have not harmed them one bit. Eldest son is now 14 and whilst he is perfectly capeable of being the self obsessed little bugger that all teenagers can be, he is also astonishingly kind and considerate. And has been so delighted with his choice of present for DS2 this year whilst laughing at our absoloute certainty that DS2 will take one look and bung it to the side. He 'gets' DS2 in a way that I don't and assures me often that I shouldn't bemoan the hassle free life he would have had without DS2 because he would never swap him.
Your DD will be fine. Don't feel bd - but of course feel free to vent

r3dh3d · 23/12/2007 09:20

Thanks folks. I know I'm being completely irrational, and I know DD2 had a perfectly lovely birthday.

She's all excited about Christmas (though not Father Christmas .... "DD2 scared Santy. DD2 runna way!") so I think we'll retry the bus thing when all that is out of the way.

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