Thumb in fist

[wibbs2016]

Hi, I’m writing this as I promised myself I would if everything was ok. In a nutshell I suspected - well more than suspected, I made myself ill actually.. I believed for a very long time that as my daughter held one of her thumbs in her fist she was either Autistic or had cerebral palsy. I’m not saying that this can’t be the case but it certainly was not with my daughter. I want to write this post incase there’s anybody out there like I was searching and searching google and absolutely convincing myself that something was wrong, despite health care professionals telling me otherwise. I really suffered with anxiety when I had my daughter and the constant googling didn’t help.
My daughter held her thumb in her fist for well over what google tells you is typical.
I read and read, searched and searched every post google had on this and made myself ill with worry.
If you’ve found this post because you’re having similar worry’s, definitely get it checked out but also I hope you find some comfort in my post - my daughter is 4 now and absolutely typical, no concerns at all. She still does hold her thumb in her fist at times, funny thing is so does my sister, they both do it when they’re a little anxious or shy… seems it’s a quirky trait and no more. .
All I really wanted to say was Googling can be very damaging, I lost a good year of quality time with my daughter due to constant worry.
Hope this helps somebody one day… thumb in fist (occasionally) after 4 months can be totally normal.

Yes, some of these body mannerisms can just be ‘quirks’, but it’s always good to research and monitor - as you did.

I read your post with interest as I’m an adult who has kept up the habit of thumb in fist since being a baby. I have neurodivergence with autism. My mother suspected autism in my childhood but never followed up on it as I was terrible at maths (old-fashioned stereotypes of what autism is)!

I became conscious of how I hold my hands as this automatic fist position unfortunately created a lot of wrong impressions with people, who wrongly chose to interpret the comforting thumb in fist as being aggressive (which it’s not, the fist position is a self-soothe). I had a long-term friend reject me specifically because of this, saying that it bothered him how aggressive he thought I must be because he’d noted how often I held my hands in fists!

I now consciously make an effort (‘masking’ in autism) to make sure my hands are inside clothes pockets or I try to remember to undo the position as soon as I notice I’m doing it. It’s such an engrained reflex to hold my hands this way, it’s my default position, so it’s hard work being continually mindful of this when around others, just so that they don’t take offense!

I guess I’m saying 1) maybe consider autism in your daughter (autism in girls is not as obvious as with boys and can be missed or misdiagnosed, and only be realised much later- as with me); and 2) also, if she does it frequently, consider how it might be misinterpreted when around new people (as I have negatively experienced), as it might impact on building/maintaining relationships. People can take offense / misinterpret meaning from very small things in body language, as I’ve discovered!