Please talk to me about respite [sad]

[RespiteAdvice]

We feel like we may need to take this step, and really wanted some advice, and just to get my feelings out about it all.

One of our DC2 has autism, and things came to a bit of head today, after a bit of a meltdown.

My other DC spoke to DH and me, and said that they feel DC2 is getting away with behaviour (meltdowns) and that DC2 is treated like a king here etc etc. They got pretty vocal about it all really, which surprised us as they all usually get on very well.

We are now wondering if it's an option to look at respite, however I feel very mixed about it all.
I don't want to ship DC2 off every now and again, yet I want everyone to be happy and maybe we could do with spending a bit more time doing things with other DC, that DC2 wouldn't enjoy.

I have a little search, and one of the respite centres seemed perfect for DC2, it is about 1.5 hours away though. Nearer ones (at a glance) seem less fitting.

It all feels a bit overwhelming, and I did have a bit of a cry about it all in private.

Please tell me about respite.
Is it easy to access? Is it expensive? Which types are there? What are the benefits for DC2?

We had to go through our social worker to access respite.
We tried it this year and it took about 5 visits before we felt ready to leave him for a sleep. We’ve started monthly sleeps since the summer and my son has adapted his routines and goes to sleep no problem. They do activities and he’s been fine.
It took me a while mentally to get my head around it as I felt like I shipped him out. BUT, it is the natural step for us as ds is now 13 and will need supported living as an adult. It has meant a big difference to my other son. Even though we usually split ourselves in half, this way we can see how this will work for the future. Our respite frequency will also increase and I do see it now as ground work for when he is in supported living.