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ASD/ADHD teen DD phone use & friendships
4

duvet · 26/12/2021 08:34

DD2 has recently been diagnosed with ADHD & ASD. Over the last year or so she has had difficulty involving a number of friendship fall outs in school. Some of which were reported by school to us as they involved DD persistently texting/calling & overly seeking attention as well as easily getting argumentative. Because of this she has moved form more than once & is often making new friends but making the same mistakes even though we have tried to guide her in this & she seems to realise this is the problem, she just cant help her self.
DD has also been in trouble with the school for being inappropriate on social media messaging, e.g asking people she barely knows if they think she’s hot, sending photos. As a consequence she now only has whatsapp & texting, & again tried to show her correct phone etiquette
She had a GF for a few months, however it came to light that she also sent an inappropriate photo to her & after speaking to the mum about the issue she also said that her daughter was quite passive but wasn’t constantly getting texts and calls from our DD, sometimes aggressive. We asked them to end the relationship & we took the phone away for a time period, again reiterating phone guidelines, social stories.
The day she got the phone back we discovered that she’s been texting a 23 year old she barely knows, we’re now wondering how to handle that – should we remove her phone completely until she’s more mature, she’s just turned 16 but does act younger.
It’s a minefield and a struggle each day at the moment, we never had need for restrictions with our eldest. We’re reading as much as we can looking for guidance, so if anyone has any positive stories or suggestions please?

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duvet · 04/01/2022 14:05

Bump.

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Tal45 · 04/01/2022 14:22

It's really difficult isn't it. It would be better if you could teach her to be sensible with the phone but that's not working. It might be best to just take it away for her own sake and safety. She might find her friendships actually work better if she isn't able to be constantly texting them. How would she react to having her phone taken away? It sounds like she's desperate for attention and going about getting it in all the wrong ways. I would try to ensure that you do a lot with her outside of school and give her lots of positive attention (if she's willing) - just try to make sure she is getting a lot of attention at home so she's not desperately trying to find someone else to give her that attention.

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duvet · 04/01/2022 16:05

Tal45 thank you for your reply. Yes we try and keep her busy , she has a few clubs that she goes to including a drama one that was supposed to be starting this week ... covid allowing! We're trying to take turns to take her out for a drink too.

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duvet · 03/05/2022 19:00

Hello I'm posting on here again after things seemed to have settled down again after some discussions with school and placing some more boundaries in at home re phone and friendships. However I've just had a message from DD exGF 's Mum to complain that DD keeps following her round at a club they go to, despite the girl telling DD she needs some space. She has also been sending messages to her via someone else. How can I get it through to her that she cant keep stalking people like this. I know she feels lonely but this kind of behaviour is driving people away :-( She has just started on ADHD meds - I'm hoping that might help.

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