Mums of ASD children: what did you regret the most in early childhood/pre teen age

[sa3ida]

Dear mums

I have 3 autistic kids all under the age of 9...

I have always worked very hard with them...and you could imagine how multi disciplinary is parenting ASD children...

One of the things I regret most is not to take videos...enough videos to track their progress...
It might seem not important to some...but for me it us something I regret

Another thing I regret is waiting for 3 years in the NHS waiting list and not proceeding with intensive interaction....

Early intervention is key to a greater progress

What did you regret most ...so I would pay attention to it from now...

Thanks very much

I regret putting DS into a gaelic immersion school.
As a teaching method it relies heavily on the pupils working out the meaning of things from the social context.
Turns out DS can't do that.

I regret trying to make mainstream education work and not getting ds out sooner.

Not starting early intervention early enough and also removing my child from his mainstream school .
New special school is rubbish .They do not do 1 to 1 and my child cannot learn without that .

I regret not pushing more so DD2 was diagnosed earlier, and I regret I did not recognise DS3’s ASD sooner - it was DS1’s CAMHS team who noticed it.

ladyapinks if 1:1 is specified and quantified in section F it must be provided. If it isn’t complain to the LA as it is them who are ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided. If it persists you can begin Judicial Review proceedings.

I regret the early intervention. I know people say it’s key but actually all the speech, music, play therapy stressed my children out despite following their lead and making it very child led.

I regret putting my youngest into mainstream school for a year. Services all advised she should be given the chance to try but school were vile to her. I’m starting to regret sending her sister to a specialist secondary, she dislikes it and is miserable. Local high school is very academic and wasn’t overly supported when we had conversations with them.

I regret moving to the town we have. It’s very nice, has appeared on the times list but isn’t great for groups for children and parents who have Sen.

@Imitatingdory

I regret not pushing more so DD2 was diagnosed earlier, and I regret I did not recognise DS3’s ASD sooner - it was DS1’s CAMHS team who noticed it.

ladyapinks if 1:1 is specified and quantified in section F it must be provided. If it isn’t complain to the LA as it is them who are ultimately responsible for ensuring the provision is provided. If it persists you can begin Judicial Review proceedings.

Yes I know .Thank you .Just getting ready for another tribunal now . Mediation in a couple of weeks and I am hoping they will agree to all that I want .

EHCP does not really state 1:1 in section F as they removed that wording when he moved from mainstream to the unit .They claim they have a high staffing ratio so no child can have 1:1 which is untrue .

Don’t bother with mediation. LAs use it as a delaying tactic. If they are going to concede they will do so regardless of whether you actively partake or just get the certificate and submit to SENDIST.

I regret not pushing for an assessment/diagnosis when he was younger. Now aged 13 he is still undiagnosed (although camhs have admitted it's obvious he has autism) and attempted suicide 10 months ago.

@Imitatingdory

Don’t bother with mediation. LAs use it as a delaying tactic. If they are going to concede they will do so regardless of whether you actively partake or just get the certificate and submit to SENDIST.

Yes I know but the advocate I am using always likes trying mediation first and my LA also claims they do not like going to tribunals and will always work with parents to resolve things and then tribunal is last resort . We shall see once we don't make headway ,I will lodge and appeal straight . Thank you

I have so many regrets. I'm not sure where to actually start. I do know if I'd done more and advocated earlier for Ds, then he would probably not be as unwell as he is now....

Like Theendisnow, I regret moving to our town. It's ever so naice with adorable small rural primary schools, but in retrospect, a more typically diverse mix would have helped all of us, I think.
I also regret making so many assumptions before pursuing a diagnosis, e.g. "Oh, it's just hormones" etc.