I'm really hoping for some advice. I'm totally new to this and - to be honest - feeling overwhelmed and like I've lost my parenting mojo.
DS is 2.5 years old. We were told - totally out of the blue, really can't stress that enough - by an early years practitioner at a playgroup that he was demonstrating signs of emerging needs. This was 6 weeks ago, and my own research has helped me and DP arrive at the conclusion that DS is autistic. We've gotten the ball rolling on the assessment process but appreciate we're in for a long wait.
Anyway, I've suddenly found myself quite disorientated as a parent. I feel like I don't know how to engage DS. I'm pregnant too and really struggling with my mental and physical health (which I'm getting help for), which I appreciate is a large factor. But I'd really like some help and advice on how to go back to basics and play with my child again.
DS is a wonderful, sensitive soul. He is affectionate and curious. He is verbal and confident in this area - he can name loads of dinosaurs, loves numbers and letters, can recognise quite a few words on sight (like colours, numbers, shapes, planet names) and spell others. He loves quoting from his favourite books but will only tolerate me reading one particular story to him. He loves flashcards but doesn't really engage with them in a way I can join in - just likes looking at them.
He doesn't really have much interest in conventional play, and I think this is where I'm struggling to know where I 'fit in' and how I can engage him. He doesn't respond to his name or to instructions most of the time. He does not engage with any imaginative play bar a small amount of copying me doing tiny bits (pretending to eat a toy icecream for example). His play is very independent - he will explore stuff, look at books, line objects up, press things with buttons - and he will get frustrated if I try to join in.
Our engagement together at the moment consists of:
Me asking him to find certain objects or colours on his flashcards/in books and him pointing at them
Parallel play (I play alongside him while he ignores me - honestly I struggle to motivate myself to do this)
Very limited windows of colouring or stickers, or me reading to him for the brief time he allows it
It doesn't feel like enough and I worry I'm failing him. He's also at that age where lots of things frustrate him and honestly it's just too easy to put the telly on for hours because he's asked for it and I don't really know what I can do to hold his attention beyond that.
He goes to nursery two mornings a week - this is new, we thought it would be a good way to assist his development and potentially tap into other support. We used to go out loads together to the local zoo, aquarium, park etc but being pregnant and poorly with hyperemesis has interfered with a lot of that. I'm also very worried about covid (I don't drive so we're bus reliant) and absolutely reeling with my mental health after the past few weeks so getting out of the house is difficult.
We frequently have playdates where he mostly ignores other kids but it's still good exposure/gives me a little break. My dad comes over once a week for a few hours to help out too and mostly (very patiently) parallel plays with DS.
Please give me some tips on what I can do to get my parenting mojo back. I want to feel like I'm doing a good job again, and that my son is getting adequate opportunities to play and engage at home should he choose to.
Thank you if you've managed to read this far and any advice would really be greatly appreciated.