ASD amd sibling relationships

[blackteaplease]

Help. I'm at my wits end and need some advice/strategies

Dc2 age 9 has recently been diagnosed with ASD. Dc3 age 6 is highly sensitive and emotional.

The two of them constantly bicker. They both need to be "right" and often come to blows. How can I manage this?

My current strategy of attempting to negotiate results in me losing my temper amd shouting. If I ignore them it results in screaming from the youngest. Ds2 doesn't see the need to accommodate his younger brother at all.

We’ve had some luck with Explosive Child type ideas.

I know you’re negotiating already - it can help to get them to just explain how they’re feeling and what their perspective is.

Good luck.

I worry about sibling relationship too. It helps in our case though that it's our youngest with difficulties, and our eldest is 6 years older, so he understands more about her behaviour and reactions. Sometimes he's actually the only one she'll respond well to. But there's no doubt he's suffered - physically and emotionally. He's sometimes resentful, though he tries hard to hide it because he knows the impact on me and dh.

The Explosive Child has helped, as @orinocosfavoritecake says. As I'm modelling the kind of behaviour that helps (seeing things from dd's perspective, talking to her about what might be causing her difficulties, suggesting things that might help her etc). Ds takes his lead from that quite a lot now. But he's only young himself so there are obviously days when he's not as patient with her. And sometimes of course it has nothing to do with her difficulties and is just normal sibling rivalry!

Thanks both. I'll have a look at the explosive child