Keep losing patience with my dd and feel terrible

[lollipoprainbow]

My dd9'was diagnosed with ASD earlier in the year. She's high functioning and most of the time we muddle along fine. There have been a couple of occasions lately where she has really pushed my buttons through no fault of her own and I have lost my temper. I then end up feeling awful for days on end. Please tell me I'm not alone in this?

Definitely not alone 5yo dd is undiagnosed at present but at points in the last few months I've felt like the worst mum on the planet. We're human. All we can do is say sorry when we get things wrong and double down on ensuring they know how loved they are. Some of my lowest points have occurred in the past 6 months. My mantra is pretty much 'tomorrow is another day' and she always goes to bed knowing how much I love her, despite her difficulties and my inability to understand properly.

@Whatafustercluck Thank you I could kick myself after I get cross because she can't help her behaviour but sometimes it all gets too much and I can't help it. I'm always very apologetic and she will often say sorry too, we hug and I feel a bit better.

Do you have any support? Have you had social care assessments - a carers assessment for you and an assessment via the disabled children’s team for DD?

My son 6 not diagnosed yet we have had trouble for a few years now has been excluded from school 3 times he can't cope he gets upset and angry over the littlest things . We all get a little angry I feel bad when I am like this towards him but I just been trying to stay calm and think about it it's not their fault . Sometimes i will ignore the little things as I find myself always nagging so I will.only enterrupt if he is hitting or breaking items. Stay strong x

Conspiracyornotr were all the exclusions formal exclusions that you have official paperwork for, or were they illegal, informal exclusions? Does DS have an EHCP?

yes they was all formal exclusions because he cant cope in the setting he is melting down and being disruptive , he has a IEP . his behaivour is getting worser at home and more violent we cant even talk the dog for a family walk :( without him melting down

Apply for an EHCP. In the meantime the school can apply for high needs top up funding if they need more funding to provide additional support.

Make sure any further exclusions are formal exclusions. Don’t allow the school to informally exclude by e.g. asking you to pick DS up to calm down. We’re any of the exclusions unreasonable? Did you make written representations about any of them?