Autistic 3 year old

[SleepDeprived2018]

Loosing my mind.

How do i help her what can i do??? Everything seems to be getting so much worse.
Everyone keeps telling me it will get better with age but for us it seems to be getting worse. DD has just turned 3 and she is autistic.
She wont sleep. She wont eat. She keeps emptying the contents of her nappy everywhere.
She has an ehcp. Shes just got her diagnosis.
She is so angry and frustrated all the time i so desperately want to help her it breaks my heart to see her so frustrated.
She is currently non verbal. Speech and language has been no help really .

I just want to help her. I feel like a shit mum when she is so unhappy. Its my job to make her happy

I dont even know what im looking for from this post im just broken

Sympathies from someone whose been in a similar place! Firstly you are clearly not a shit mum, it sounds like you are doing everything you can to help your little one. Secondly just keep doing it, all of it. Reading story books, singing songs, practicing the speech techniques (“it takes two to talk” is a great book to buy and practice if you can’t get slt appointments). It will probably help and it certainly won’t harm - for years I felt I was getting nowhere with my son but now at the age of 5 he is finally communicating his thoughts and little personality. If you have an ehcp and a diagnosis now it sounds like you are at the turning point, so just hang in there!

Does DD take melatonin? Can you ask for a referral to a sleep clinic?

Does the EHCP have OT provision?

In what way is SALT not helpful? Is it that it’s not often enough? Needs someone more experienced? The session content not meeting DD’s needs?

@Infradoug thank you for you’re reply xx that book looks brilliant ill deffinitley get that will look for a second hand copy its pricey!

That must be so lovely seeing your sons little personality xx

@Imitatingdory thank you so much for your reply xx
We asked for refferal to sleep clinic/ neuro team they rejected refferal a few months ago as they said they wouldnt see anyone without a diagnosis so will ask for a ref again now thanks!
EHcP does not have any mention of OT

SALT - the team shes under its sort of one box should fit all and thats all they offer - so they want DD to do pecs but she doesnt have enough understanding at all - nursery also said she isnt ready for pecs so they said ok well the only other thing we can offer is bucket therapy? So we have really really tried HARD and so have nursery but it does nothing but frustrate DD
We have just been accepted for DLA so we are thinking of paying for private SALT with more of a learn through play approach? Xx

It sounds like you are doing so much with very little support. Is your DD in a specialist nursery / school. Our school take children from 2yrs 9 months.

I find OTs really helpful - in our area I think you can self refer or get the GP to refer

This booklet might give some useful information. We use objects of reference and TOBIs for children who are not yet at the stage to use PECS.

static1.squarespace.com/static/5cf788f054106a000185c13a/t/5dcbfb449ea3f41d1d51648b/1573649225850/Book+3+Communication.pdf

Hi @lorisparkle thank you for replying I really appreciate it x

We’ve hd a bit of a bad time with nurserys - DD bites- so the first nursery she was in decided to totally exclude her - she would be inside when the other children were outside then vice versa - and they took her to a side room often ‘so she didn’t upset the other children’ we took her out of this nursery as soon as we knew this. They also said to me ‘ we might have to ask her to leave’ the health visitor told me they cant do that. Anyway we didnt want her there.
The nursery she is in now - dd loves it the staff are really lovely but they said to me the other day they dont feel they have enough sen experience and are too understaffed to ‘deal with a child like dd’
So we are looking to move again now - ive called round a few today and asked specifically to speak to the senco and have planned to go in after Christmas.
Is there anything specific i should be asking/looking for?
DD is so lovely i feel like ive painted a bad picture here. She is sooo loving - she likes to make people laugh - she loves to cuddle - she’s beautiful inside and out. I would do anything to make her happy.

Thank you for the leaflet really appreciate that!
We do use objects of reference shes doing really well with this! Xx

You can ask the LA for a reassessment of needs (IPSEA have a model letter you can use). As part of this you can ask for an OT assessment, and an up to date SALT assessment. Both OT and SALT should be in the EHCP. Is SALT not in there, and does it not detailed what the sessions should include? The EHCP can cover whatever type of SALT DD needs even if she requires someone more specialist to deliver the provision.

Have you looked at specialist nurseries? Or mainstream nurseries attached to a school with an ARP?

My 3 year old would not have coped at nursery without an EHCP and the 1:1 provision it gave us. It has made a massive difference and he is thriving there. You can apply for this yourself or with help from the nursery and IPSEA (mentioned above) is a great resource for this.