How do I go about getting more help for my 18 month old?

[Rosie1990x]

Hi everyone. If I’m in the wrong place please redirect me as I don’t mean to cause any offence.

I’m the mother of an 18 month old boy. I am personally on the autistic spectrum myself (high functioning) and I have two brothers who are quite profoundly autistic and one of them is unable to live alone therefore is in supported living.
My dad has suspected autism however was born in the 1960s so never officially received any help or a diagnosis.

About 3 months ago, when my son was 15 month olds I began to notice he seemed delayed slightly. He wouldn’t use gestures in the way other toddlers do. He can’t wave, clap or point. He has occasionally given us a clap or two when copying us or his grandparents but that’s as far as it goes. He absolutely cannot point or wave.

I contacted our health visitor last month because I figured by 17 months he should definitely be waving or pointing at least. She agreed to see him once he was 18 months old as she also wanted to come over to weigh DS2 who is 3 months.

In the 2-3 weeks we were waiting to see her, I began noticing more and more things about our son and DH did too.
He has basically no ‘words’ aside from baby. He knows his brother is a baby and will call him that but he cannot say mama or dada or any other words at all.
He used to babble frequently and was very very vocal but now isn’t at all. He seemed to ‘lose’ it all within a few months. He was doing things at 14 months that he is now no longer doing at 18 months. I’m devastated.

His favourite thing to do is run around repeatedly in a circle. He will find a centre point, such as a pile of toys and he will circle it for ages. He enjoys reading and will bring us books to read to him, and also stacking blocks but he doesn’t seem to care for much else.

So anyway the health visitor came yesterday. I didn’t find her visit too reassuring and she made both DH and I quite uncomfortable actually.
She kept insisting it was unlikely Ds1 is autistic because he ‘makes amazing eye contact’ I kept insisting I also make eye contact and am indeed autistic. So does one of my brothers. She talked over me and told me that if I wasn’t happy with her judgement I should contact my GP as she couldn’t do anything for my son until he turns 2.5 other than refer him for a hearing test (which he has next month)

She also told me little boys ‘usually talk late’ so it wasn’t an issue. Again, I don’t know how truthful this is but it seemed an odd statement to make as my son is clearly showing signs of there being a bigger issue at play. An 18 month old that can only say baby? And previously WAS babbling words such as mama and dada but now isn’t.
He doesn’t point. He won’t wave.

On top of all of this, he seems to have a bizarre detachment to DH and I.
My mum provides us with childcare twice a week and whenever DH and I arrive to collect him he stays absolutely poker faced the entire time. He doesn’t smile or run to greet us. It’s as though he has no idea who we are most of the time.

I’m sick with worry (hence why I’m awake at 3am) and I don’t know where else to go from here. Surely they can’t make me wait until he turns 2.5 before they help? Something just doesn’t Seem right.
He’s our first child so of course we aren’t too clued up on what is normal and what isn’t but I certainly feel he IS delayed beyond a reasonable amount in some things.

Any advice? Is it worth speaking to my GP or would he/she just say the same thing?

Thanks in advance.

There’s certainly no harm in talking to your GP. Waiting lists for autism assessments are so long anyway that by the time your DS came to be assessed he might well be four or five.

I am not a doctor and I’ve never met your son so my view as to whether or not he might be autistic is worthless - and as you know better than anyone no two autistic people are the same.

But you’re worried and that’s as good a reason as any to act.

One other thing I read that helped me - lots of the stuff that you do for autistic kids is just good stuff to do for kids whether or not they’re autistic. So makaton, joining in with their play by copying what they are doing, visual timetables, etc… If he’s autistic it might help. If he’s not it’ll probably help anyway.

Lots of people on this board know way more than me. Good luck. Take a deep breath. You’ve got this - whatever ‘this’ turns out to be.

As we all know, eye contact means nothing as a marker for autism and your HV doesn't sound very knowledgeable.

You can do the MChat-R test online and tell your GP the results along with all of your other observations.

Of everything you've written, this should concern the medics enough to make a referral,

He used to babble frequently and was very very vocal but now isn’t at all. He seemed to ‘lose’ it all within a few months. He was doing things at 14 months that he is now no longer doing at 18 months. I’m devastated

This is called regression, see your GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician as a matter of urgency. Go with a list of skills your little boy had and the skills he has lost. Some GPs are clued-up for autism, some aren't, but be persistent, the regression of skills needs to be investigated.
Please try not to worry, you need to be at your healthiest to get through the system and advocate for your son. You can do it, we've all had to and there's a lot of support here.

The developmental regression needs investigating by a paediatrician whether it is due to autism or not.

I don't know what the latest research is, but some years ago there was evidence boys talked later than girls on average. However, that was later but still within the normal range rather than later as a n delayedx and does not explain the loss of language skills.

In some areas you can self refer to SALT, OT and portage, I would do that as well as an appointment with the GP.