Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

paranoid

5 replies

mrsforgetful · 12/11/2004 00:02

As you know i do tend to ramble on when i post...and i am the same when i talk

i have been very lucky to be able to attend a support group...general parenting issues...which was my only 'result' from 'when the social worker visited'

but...there's another lady there who has Autie kids and she (like me) feels AS herself...and we do get on well...however...i feel that i have hijacked the group...i keep butting in ...i can't shut up.

They asked me to get some ASD /spec.needs stuff of the internet...so i end up going in with about 100 sheets of A4...and my favourite JKP books.....and i guess i now feel that the Facilitators must feel i am taking over.

this feeling started during today's meeting when one of them said that though they weren't experts in S.needs...that people like me and the other woman i mentioned obviosly were as we had all this knowledge etc....now i am not looking for anyone on here to say that....what i need is people to help me shut up...i want to sit back and listen...i need to....i want to go next week- but feel paralysed by worry that i have said too much

some of you i know run/have run groups...tips please on how you cope /feel with someone like me.....it's embarressing for me when other group members are asking ME for advice- i don't want to run a group- but i there are a few at this one who are 'where i was 3 years ago' and i feel i am 'bursting' with things like 'MELATONIN...MUMSNET.....DLA help...JKP books' that i want to share...... and probably because i am AS....i don't realise i am 'going on' until i get home.

OP posts:
chonky · 12/11/2004 07:29

MrsF, it's people like you that help make a support group good! I'm really grateful for those mums who're further along the path than me who can make suggestions.
IKWYM though, as MN is such a brilliant resource for me I think I do the same thing. Last week our leader was telling a friend that she could order the Makaton vid from WHSmith, I butted in on how she could save £2.50 by getting it from Amazon. Likwise I seem to be slowly collecting a large collection of pamphlets about local groups/ charities etc. - and everytime our long suffering community nurse visits I feel compelled to give her a few more phone numbers & websites.
Keep up the 'bursting' with info. bit, I'm sure the group leaders can only see it as a good thing, and I'm really pleased that people like you come along to groups and share advice.

Chocol8 · 12/11/2004 08:13

I totally agree with Chonky MrsF, although it may not be what you want to hear.

Perhaps I am seeing it from your angle too though as I find myself in this situation alot. I joined a group where we had a talker about special diets and she did a great talk and question session. When she was leaving one of the mums asked me something and I gave her an answer which in turn bought up another subject (on ADHD/AS) and it just snowballed from there. The organisers left and there was me answering questions for this group. Not that i'm an expert but living with the condition day in day out, means we are able to give hints and advice that they never would have thought of. I wasn't comfortable with the situation AFTER the event but at the time, I was on a roll. They were all so grateful that I was so pleased that I could help them in a small way.

That's why Mumsnet works so well, we all have different view points and experience and we SHARE it. I still look up to you and other Mums on here for your vast knowledge of subjects because you have the EXPERIENCE and knowledge and you don't keep it to yourself.

I do totally understand what you mean though MrsF, but I bet the organisers were glad to have a knowledgeable person taking the reigns for a change. I say keep up the good work and the people in your group will come to see you as you should be seen...a kind caring person who is willing to share her experiences. xx

Twiglett · 12/11/2004 08:20

dear darling mrs F, my best friend and I are exactly the same ... we just joined a pta group (our kids are pre-school) with the definite intention of staying quiet in first meeting and we almost took it over .. it was a big meeting too around 20 mums there

No advice I'm afraid, just wanted you to feel less lonely

Some people just know too much and they are desperate to share .. I have decided that is a good thing .. cos some people know too little and are desperate to learn

misdee · 12/11/2004 08:22

i'm paranoid as well then. if i spot a child with ezcema, then istart to reel off a lost of creams and treatments for them to try. som e poor mothers are like 'omg, the gp only gave this' and then they go back and get loads more. i like to feel i've helped, but sometimes feel i need to shut up.

heartinthecountry · 12/11/2004 08:24

Gawd - MrsF - I am TERRIBLE at not butting in, giving my opinion, sharing info etc so sorry, no advice on how not to .

Even at work, where once upon a time I was a manager and had some justification for taking over, now I am just a lowly PT worker and I still can't shut up.

I think for me, if I have knowledge or understanding of a situation which I think would be of benefit to others, it is really really hard not to share that. I sometimes (often) do feel really conscious that I have 'taken over' but whenever I have mentioned it to other people they usually don't seem to mind at all.

It sounds to me as if the other mums in your group really appreciate your advice and experience. IME if others think you are being bossy or 'knowitall'ish they soon stop asking you anything.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page