Advise for 4yr old suspect autism

[Shittymumm]

Hi dont really know where to start to but my 4yr old son is waiting to be assessed for autism and the waiting time is ridiculous (which you all know).
He is still in nappies, an average of 2years behind with all developments and his meltdowns are exhausting and I don't know how to really deal with them.
There is loads i don't know, but I think I'm doing my best trying to get him all the help he needs but everything seems to be help for in school, extra funding, extra TAs, different schooling options etc...
I don't know where to turn to for help or advise while he is at home, im just looking for abit of advise, sorry. Thank you. X

Hello in a similar boat here maybe just a bit further along. Firstly you are doing fab and being a great advocate fir your son. In the beginning i looked at Autism based charitys too get help/advice support and so they could point me in the right direction of anything locally. We also used PECs and pictures tailored to our routine so there is a visual of what is happening. Do not worry about toilet training hopefully you can be referred to the Continence team to get a product review and products. Have you seen a Paediatritian yet? Sensory Direct have lots if things that can help they have great customer service too, we have tried the weighted crab and lights. Also look at DLA/Carers Allowance, it all can be a battle but at the end of the day when you close your door thats your safe space for him and you, your doing great x

Re meltdowns try writing a trigger diary too see if anything stands out and prep prep prep for change in routine eg Pecs/now and next boards etc, an egg timer can help for when an activity is going too end also.

Thank you so much for the reply! I actually haven't been to through the doctors because the school have been great getting him on the right pathway to be assessed, how would I go about with seeing a paediatrician? I'll be the first to admit I have no idea what I'm doing and winging it, so I thought I had to get a diagnosis first before I could access any real help?
I haven't tried PECS only just starting to find things like that out thanks to this forum and will definitely be keeping a diary, I have ways to helping him after his meltdowns but not thought about how to try and eliminate or limit the reasons he has them 😔
Again thank you so much x

I’m in the same boat too. My 4 year old is banded as ‘birth to 18 months’ for most things.

Your local authority will have some sort of website with everything on there I think. For Surrey Council it’s just the ‘Surrey local offer’ website. I wish I’d known about that sooner. The SENCO in school should also be able to help? They should really know all the available help.

You can self refer for Occupational Therapy through the NHS too. Don’t need a GP to do it, you can just fill in the on-line form yourself.

NHS SALT is good when you can get it, but there’s just not enough of it.

I don’t think you need a diagnosis to access real help. You can get it before any diagnosis. There should be some early intervention funding available through the council too. The school should know about that. That can be used in many ways to help your son.

He was referred to SALT over a year ago, unfortunately the school and I haven't heard anything back, its a waiting game I suppose.
Hes got an educational therapist seeing him in school this month, is that the same as a OT?
Thank you so much for replying ill be looking on my local council website now! 🙂

National Autistic Society will support you without a diagnosis.
They offer some fab things locally (more on line since COVID, obvs).
From 'Dads Groups' to coffee mornings to information and training courses for you to find out more about Autism and to learn about strategies that might help.
There are often local groups that meet too - worth asking your school if there is an Autism Outreach in your Authority - they all have different names. Some of them will run parents groups, and they should all be able to put you in touch with local groups even where they don't run them themselves.
Locally, here, there is a monthly group that deals with different topics each month.... eating / toileting / sensory overload / etc.

But seriously, get in touch with NAS and find out what they can offer.

Thank you, hopefully there is some local groups that I can join, always find that even if there is no solution to something, finding someone in the same boat just makes it feel better to know your not alone 😊
@littleHen84 @@Chris12456 @Kite22 thank you all for replying x