Help me help my son happy. Hobby ideas?

[thetombliboo]

Hi all. It's my first time posting here and Ive had a bad day just after some friendly tips.
My lovely son 7 has had a rough time, I just want to brief quickly so you have some background and see if anyone has a son like mine.
. He was diagnosed with leukaemia as an infant and was an inpatient for a long time he is in full remission but often in day cares for tests as so many side effects.
He has a very small body bless him and eats a very limited amount. He was on the COVID shielding list. He has been under our community paediatrician and neurodevelopmental team since 3. He was formally diagnosed at 6 with autism although I was told he also had ADHD but to young to diagnose without further evidence etc and very recently got that diagnosis alongside OCD.
He's very high functioning and is a walking fact book. He can read now although hates fiction so doesn't try in school. He is lower level at everything in school and maths especially does not go in.

He's lovely. He is a very sweet boy and I haven't ever seen him be deliberately unkind.
He has a great (extremely literal) sense of humour and it's almost as if his life is an actual cartoon on tv he does sound effects, expressions etc for everything.
As he is getting older I feel like he's growing apart from the other children. It's not quite as "funny" and it's as if they're noticing he is different also he is becoming bigger, louder and standing out. He is mainstream and currently has no 1:1 and when all restrictions lift he will go to an outreach group in his school.

I feel he's becoming sad. He's noticing people don't react to him the same way and there's been some behaviour recently in school where he's overstepped boundary's which has broken my heart as he has come from such a good well intentioned place but his understanding of what is okay seems to be limited.
I feel like with him growing up these situations of social and emotional life are going to be happening more and more and we have no support or input or any services available to us really where we live.
I would love to give him something to enjoy and a hobby. Something to look forward to and focus on. I just have NO idea what.
He went swimming which he enjoyed. He soon got moved to the disability 1:1 group as they felt he was a risk to other. He goes to his dads house every other weekend and the Sunday just does not work.
I have tried martial arts, football, rugby and they have not worked out as he wasn't happy doing it.
He has started gaming very recently since he has learnt to read and built an amazing pyramid house playing mine craft creative but I am limiting this because the obsessional behaviour is a lot.
I have an amazing husband who is fantastic with my son and I have two other children. I have an elder child DS10 who has a hobby of some sport almost every night and we have a baby DSnearly1 but we will make sure the time is available for him to have the opportunity to do anything.

I honestly just want him to actually enjoy something.

Sorry this is long it's been a really big emotional day.

Drama? Often VERY inclusive, excellent for confidence and movement and socialising.

Also which martial art? Maybe another?

Is he the right age for beavers? Cubs? They always need volunteers so perhaps something you could do together one night a week, so you’re sharing the experience but he still has the opportunity to make friends.

Another vote for beavers. And, honestly, there are many worse things than minecraft and plenty of kids make friends that way.

I agree computer games can be a great way to make friends. How about Lego - does he like that? Our local library (pre-Covid, but hopefully it will return!) had a lego-building club every Saturday, which was a good way to play alongside and then with other kids, cooperate in finding pieces, etc.

Maybe something factual as well. My daughter really loves Aquila magazine and it has lots of interesting facts and jokes and quizes that she can share at school? If he finds maths and english a bit of a challenge then being a walking fact book could really help boost his confidence (and as they get older should put him in a good position to enjoy school more as he starts being able to specialise in subjects that interest him).

I agree it might be worth trying out different martial arts classes. My daughter is super keen but we just tried one that didn't work out (too loud/chaotic/too many kids and too much going on). We're going to try to keep looking around to see if we can find something more suitable.

Also, for his Maths, it might be worth trying that Carol Vorderman thing (The Maths Factor)? It's a subscription but when we tried a bunch of things during lockdown my daughter liked that one best as it includes actual video lessons explaining what to do, and is quite "gamey" (some of the others just ask questions and it can be quite disheartening getting everything wrong: DD doesn't like learning by trial and error!) It has a free trial so might be worth a go in the holidays. I saw an interview where she was talking about her son's special needs and learning struggles, so I think she is somebody who really "gets" that everybody has their own way of learning!!

Language classes

Another thought is coding club.

Thank you for all your great suggestions.
The gaming is fun but because he can be obsessive he has a very addictive personality and I think it can be intense.

In terms of group things and the martial arts especially what I have found is the teachers struggle and they've apologised and have said they don't know what to do with him as he struggled to listen and will often run around and roll on the floor etc basically do what he wants.
Perhaps the beavers and me volunteering is a good way to go forwards I'll enquire about that tonight
I really like the idea of magazine subscriptions too so thank you I wouldn't have thought of that he loves magazines in the shops but maybe a regular one for him to get into would be great.
Lego club would be a great idea too as he's loving building things at the moment. Thank you all so much.

I met today with the head and the inclusion manager and it was really positive and they're starting to reopen the school groups. I feel much better about it all today.

Also my title to my thread was wrong sorry I was all over the place last night

Does anyone else feel their child seems a bit sad? And if anyone has a similar child do they get more complex as they get older?

I also recommend Beavers - they are very inclusive. He would probably enjoy trampolining too, although I am picturing him bouncing around the place like a rubber ball.

What strikes me is that he would probably like a friend who shares his obsessions (or at least has their own obsessions). Being in mainstream, does he get the chance to mix with other high functioning autistic kids? Is there a social group or something he could go to where he would not stand out from the group?

Hi, my son is autistic, he had a very difficult time around 6/7. He was seen as babyish by other kids and he struggled with friendships. He's now getting on much better. I would suggest working on friendships one to one, as autistic kids find that much easier than playing in a group. Can you invite friends over, or is there a friend he could go to a hobby with?

I've found beavers/cubs great and very inclusive. My son was very unhappy but now I'd say hes really happy. Now we're looking ahead to secondary which I think will be tough, but just wanted to let you know things can get better.

PS I'd also suggest using social stories to try to explain social rules to your son.

Does he like animals? He might enjoy horseriding?

My boy loves horse riding. Maybe could start with RDA?