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Is having only male friends and struggling with female ones a sign of ASD in girls?

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caravanstar795 · 05/09/2021 09:41

Trying to find information online about this specific thing but finding it hard to find anything - can anyone help with this one please either from own experience/suggesting resources? Any other info re: ASD in girls would also be really helpful. Not diagnosed with ASD but beginning to wonder if that's something we should be looking at. DD had male and female friends as part of a group at primary as they all had similar interests but my daughter never had a female best friend or close female friends or got invited to birthday parties/sleepovers etc by girls. Neither did she ever seem interested in hanging out with girls or making female friends. She's not into hair/make up/fashion or boys in a romantic sense which I don't think is a prerequisite of being female by a long stretch but have just noticed that a lot of the girls her age seem increasingly to be. She doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere (she has said this to me). I'm concerned now that DD is at high school as situation still same and I worry as dynamics may well change and I fear this will leave her isolated and a target for bullies. I also fear the boys growing tired of her hanging around them as they all get older. I feel that already they may just tolerate her hanging around, whereas to her she sees them as her friends, which breaks my heart. She also presents as quite naive for her age which again I worry makes her more vulnerable. Never sought a diagnosis for ASD but wondering if I should look at this now as do have other concerns in addition. Trying to find the best way to support her going forward and not sure how best to proceed. Any info either from personal experience or professional perspective would be really appreciated, thanks in advance.

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BlankTimes · 05/09/2021 21:01

Having friend of only one sex is not part of the diagnostic criteria, nor is it something that would hugely suggest autism above anything else. Possibly social communication difficulties or possibly just a personal preference.

Everyone who has autism has a unique presentation of traits. Look for the diagnostic criteria on the NAS website and also look for someone who is experienced in diagnosing autism in girls.

Neurodiverse kids tend to have an emotional age around two-thirds of their chronological age.

Loads of teens feel as though they don't fit in anywhere, was that the same in her earlier education settings too?

All you can do is read up on autism in girls and if you think it's a possibility, contact the school SENCO and ask for their observations - although girls are adept as masking so you may not get as much support as you hope for.

If you're concerned, see your GP and ask for referral for assessment.
NHS waitlists can be long, if private assessment is an option, make sure whoever does it also assesses for the NHS.

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