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SN children

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Original poster

Am going nuts

21 replies

needmorecoffee · 02/12/2007 11:35

Finally exploded. Am sick of looking up everything about CP, about epilepsy about finding alternatives. Sick of filling in the stupid barstard charity forms for what she needs. Sick of then having to locate ancient bank statements and CTC stuff and DLA stuff for the stupid charities.
DH never does this stuff, isn't interested and is a messy slob so I can never find anything.
Wish I lived on a canal boat by myself. Am crying hot angry tears.

OP posts:

daisy5678 · 02/12/2007 12:01

It's unrelentingly shite, isn't it, and there's no cheering up about it except to say that your dd is lucky to have someone who will bother. If your DH is anything like my ex, he's leaving you to it because he knows you know what you're doing and so it's easier. But could you share out the jobs - e.g. he finds the bank statements and you fill in the forms?

Poor you. Sorry there isn't more that can be said! Can you have some time to yourself today or will DH not help?

daisy5678 · 02/12/2007 12:02

And you aren't nuts, any more than any of us are. We're human and sometimes it all gets too much. But I think that's normal. It would be weirder if we all just thought life was a bowl of cherries all the time, cos frankly it isn't!

Peachy · 02/12/2007 12:10

We all break down sometimes NMC, and you get it worse than most. Cry all you need.

The aperwork is hellish isn;'t it? We actually rfused a grant earlier this year because I just couldn't face the bloody forms again. My Dh is much like yours; useless on that front.

Lots of hugs and support winging its way over to you

Original poster

needmorecoffee · 02/12/2007 12:29

feels like I'm having a nervous breakdown. Can't stop crying. Sat in the bathroom and wished I was dead.
I know its not just the forms, its everything. My life is shit and christmas is coming and dd1 is still run away and dd2 wont recognise Xmas.
Felt like running away then realised that the next 2 weeks is stuffed with dd's appointments and if I run away who will do them?

OP posts:

Peachy · 02/12/2007 13:28

Oh NMC , I wish there was something I could do to help . Bastard car's at the garage with a broken clutch.

Can you call SS and tell them you need emergency support?

magso · 02/12/2007 13:32

Needs more coffee - so sorry. You sound like you work so hard and passionately for your dcs its no wonder you run flat for yourself. I wish i could help.

yurt1 · 02/12/2007 14:59

god you sound like me. Just arrived home from a trip out with ds1 and said I can't do it anymore.

No idea what the answer is.

Original poster

needmorecoffee · 02/12/2007 15:45

There isn't one Yurt. I'm still a bit teary but I've had a good cry and hysterical outburst and now I've buried all the hurt deep down again, had a cup of tea and am getting on with my dreary life.
Just wish there was something more to look forward to than dying one day and then being free.

OP posts:

Original poster

needmorecoffee · 02/12/2007 15:45

I'm guessing you can't come and see me Peachy if your car is buggered.

OP posts:

yurt1 · 02/12/2007 15:47

It's the constancy and the physicality. It will get a little easier when your dd goes to school, honestly.

Original poster

needmorecoffee · 02/12/2007 15:55

I know but I also dealing with the huge guilt of not home educating her. My others kids are or have been home educated and I have huge reservations about the school system. But DH wants to go back to work and I can't cope with dd alone - can't even lift her.

OP posts:

yurt1 · 02/12/2007 16:01

I was going to home educate ds1 at one stage. UNtil he developed further (or not as the case may be) and I realised there was absolutely no way I could manage. School give him far more than I could (we top up with stuff at home) and he loves it. I know its not quite the same for your dd but in ds1's case his world is so narrow anyway, that school really expands it (and of course, it gives e a break- without which I wouldn't manage).

Peachy · 02/12/2007 16:07

NMC its back this week- so should still be over, would have done an emergency run today though otherwise

Peachy · 02/12/2007 16:11

We've been hom edding DS3 and he starts aprt time January- we went past the kids that remember him from Nursery on Friday and they were all so excited, and the teachers were as well, to have him (although after watching him perform at the Christingle today ....), it amde me realise that although every decision I have amde for ds3 has genuinely be considered and the best I could make, there are a lot of good things to the alternatives too. Your DD2 will be fine. She's a social little thing from all you have said- our ASpies might haev struggled (or in my case be struggling) but DD2 is a very different eprson altogether, youknow that in your heart.

Must be heartbreaking seeing Christmas coming wthout dd1, sympathies.

Peachy · 02/12/2007 16:22

Have TTR'd you with dates. If its the weekend (I can leave any time after 1 both days), Dh will tkae 2 kids Christmas pressie shopping and I will bring one over.

TotalChaos · 02/12/2007 19:17

sorry it's so tough for you. I agree with Peachy - from your description, your DD is so social that she will get a lot from being around as you put it, "walkie talkie" children.

tibni · 02/12/2007 21:57

Form filling itself may not be the problem but it makes us face the reality that we would rather not focus on.

I have not been able to face the Direct Payment process for this reason. I have an appointment with the community disability nurse team and know I will feel let down and angry after. It doesn't help having the so call support telling you that you are doing a great job and that there is nothing they can do (the result last year)

Rant away; your among people who understand

Skipsmum · 03/12/2007 09:55

Oh, poor u! Youre really not alone, I spent yesterday in tears too. I braved xmas shopping with DS2 in the major buggy and realised that this is my life now, pushing a child who I thought would be walking, taking things off him he had grabbed. Dealing with people who stare and people who are over-helpful.
My boys are both home-ed but I am seriously considering school for DS2. DS1 has autism and would never cope in school. But DS2 needs sensory stimulation, and patience that I don't seem to have.
Please try not to feel guilty. You do the best you can in an impossible situation. Sending you lots of hugs. XXX

aefondkiss · 03/12/2007 10:22

NMC, wish I could think of something useful to say for you, I would like to give your dh some direction, on your behalf... could you write a list of things you want to get done? and give him half if it?...

missyhissey · 03/12/2007 10:53

Just sending good wishes to you, really hope things improve for you soon, I'd be happy to lend a hand in some way to help you, are you anywhere in Yorkshire by any chance?

Dinosaur · 03/12/2007 13:50

needmorecoffee - I can't think of anything useful to say but just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. Don't feel guilty about not home-edding dd2.

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