Sorry that I had to name change for this, but I'm concerned that I could easily be recognised by parents of the school, and I don't like the idea of them being able to read potentially damaging posts that I've written over the years.
I am a regular, I read more than I write, but have been here for a number of years.
Where do I start? Got a horrible feeling this is going to be long
O.K, I went to pick up ds from school(yr 3, hfa) and (to cut a long story short) found myself in a discussion about ds's aggression at school. A parent instigated it, which invlolved class teacher, parent and Head.
There's so much that was said but the bottom line was that she feared for her sons safety and happiness all the whilst ds was in his class. She said she went to the governors who had advised her to go to the head to complain, which she did back in October. She now says that after talking to social services, she was told to go to the police, which she says she did.
As far as I'm aware, and the school regularly keep me up to date, there has been problems with her ds and mine but never anything extreme. I'm starting to question myself whether I've imagined the whole thing because it sounds so unbelievable, but she implied that her ds is now copying ds's mannerisms(used the staring as an example). The head said that she cannot possible blame a child if another child copies. She even went as far as suggesting her child will end up in prison if he continues copying. I'm, finding this really hard to believe now I'm typing it. Did I really hear that right!!
As far as the hitting, I do know that ds has hit out, there's no doubt about that, but ds is very naive (ASD!)in that he always tells me the truth without any thought about the consequences so when he says a child hit him first I believe him. He would without hesitation tell me when he hits another child, so I can rely on the truth. In the last month he has never told me about hittig this child.
She brought up that other parents were concerned, in fact, she said that at a party last week my ds was all they could talk about. I don't know how involved other parents are, I kind of keep my head down because I know I can never really become friendly with a parent because of ds.
She said that her ds can't understand when ds doesn't recieve the same punishment as other children, can't understand that a child doesn't know right from wrong, and has no boundaries(Was that a dig at me!!) My ds can understand right from wrong, but he's impulsive and can never think of the consequences, or any punishment that I give out.
I was very impressed with the Head's reaction to all of this. She said(and I can only imagine that could get a lot of backs up) that if she was so concerned about the safety of her child, that maybe he should be moved to another class. Parent said that would be akin to punishment.
She said that she's scared that one day she's going to get a phone call about her ds, and implied that my ds could do serious damage. Oh please....he's never seriosuly hurt anybody.
God, I don't know what to do, I try and punish him with his aggressive behaviour, by stopping him playing a virtual reality game on pc which is a massive punishment because he's obsessed with it, but he said himself that at the time he's not able to think about that.
Can the police really do anything? What can I do? Have I wrote too much? Are you still awake......oi!!!