How do you get your neurodiverse child to leave the house?

[SequinsandStiIettos]

Evening

Am venting to anyone going through the same. Between the ages of four and six, DC (suspected ASC, has been referred, referral not accepted until they clear their Covid backlog) refused to leave the house...which left me housebound practically and I had to leave my job.
DC began school and things improved - they would go swimming for example and only refused school twice but stayed once dragged in.
They have always enjoyed a holiday we used to do but has not been possible the last two years because of Covid.
During lockdowns they have been fine as no pressure to do anything.
I coped by and large having been through similar before Covid even existed.
Cut to now - they took up a new outside hobby and were fine for 6 weeks but recently refused to go. Was taken but refused to participate. They went swimming today and that was fine.
We had one trip on Thursday which was okay by the usual standards but a complete battle to get them in the car.
One trip is planned tomorrow and Monday before a week doing nothing until they go back to school.
The trips are for the benefit of his neurotypical sibling but as a single parent, both children have to go as I have no outside support.
Appealing to their better nature does not work, bribing occasionally works but not always, dragging them into the car ruins the whole vibe of the trip.

How do you do it?
How do you lessen the impact on their siblings?

I have cancelled going away away as my DC did not want to stay away from home anywhere. So short day trips are already a compromise.
I also feel that sometimes DC is being controlling as opposed to overcome by anxiety - so more demand avoidant rather than overstimulated. But I know that is unfair as I am not in their head.
Their sibling resents their attitude, their mood swings and their refusal.
Any ideas?

We have a similar situation with my two. Ds is ASD and dd is NT and it's always a balance trying to get the two of them to agree to doing the same thing. You may have tried all of these but here are some things we use with ds that help.

With ds I find it's mainly about the transition. So we use a Sen buggy for trips out which helps him transition from one place to another. Then we also use transitional toys or phone/tablet as a bribe to distract him from the transition. We also use rewarding activities to transition him from one place to another. So ds randomly loves going to Tesco's so that is a reward for leaving the playground.

Would it help if you could get him to be actively involved in the trip planning if he's able, then he will have more control over the situation? Ds loves looking at the map on my phone while we are going from one place to another and giving us directions so that he feels in control.

When we are doing something new or a longer trip I print out loads of photos and make social stories for him about what will happen and the kind of activities we might be doing. Then we kind of break the trip down into smaller elements, so first we leave the house, then we get in the car etc.

When ds absolutely refuses to go out and do things we try and find find fun things for dd to do around the house or we get friends or family to take her out while I stay home with ds.

I feel your pain, my eldest is autistic and frequently refuses to leave the house or join in activities. What I find helpful is to build everything into a routine. So for example, swimming lesson is followed by trip to a cafe and a chance to spend pocket money on the stickers he collects.

We have fixed times for computer, TV etc and he knows he is expected to go outside every day to get fresh air and exercise before he can go on a screen.

We have audio books in the car which we get from the library, that can help when he doesn't want to go somewhere as we say oh let's listen to the next chapter in the car. The audiobook is always in the car so he can't hear the story without driving somewhere.

As he gets older it gets easier as I can reason and negotiate with him to an extent.