Is this normal development 27 months?

[boringbrain]

Ds is 27 months (almost 2.5) and I'm kind of worried about his lack of understanding and his speech. He has a about 100 words but is also being brought up in a bilingual household but his main language is English so most of the time instructions and commands are given to him in English.

A bit of a background describing DS:

-Extremely hyper and wouldn't sit still for a minute unless he is restrained in a high chair or pushchair. He's always on the go exploring. Loves outdoors and is a free spirit but needs to be in reigns unless it's a safe closed area like a gated park.

• Loves playing with toys until he gets bored and throws them but never displays repetitive play or not that I've noticed. Imaginative play is he uses items to make telephone gibberish conversations, tried to bf his doll, feeds his rocking horse etc

-Pointed to share interest around 17/18 months but pointed to request around 22/23 months, before that he would use his whole hand or climb on things to grab what he wants. Since turning 2, he has been using his words and pointing to request. Follows points, follows where I'm looking, follows sound, understands sad and happy and can read emotions.

• Uses his words correctly but no two way conversation. Basically are you hungry? No response. Are your happy yes or no? No response. Do you want to stay yes or no? No response. But he will immediately say no if there's something he doesn't want to do such as nappy change.

-Excellent eye contact but won't engage with strangers. Loves children but can be boisterous with them.

-Very strong willed but can be easily distracted when a terrible 2s tantrum kicks in and forgets about what his tantrum was about but our main tantrums happen when he wants to do something dangerous and I try to stop him.

-Sleep is ok, eating food is ok

• Responds to name

• walked at 13 months and met most of his physical milestones early

My concerns are his lack of understanding. Please bare in mind that I'm a first time mum and I have no experience with babies and toddlers. I have used the MChat and he has scored low risk since turning 18 months. My concern is that I feel he is not where he should be in average toddler understanding. I tell him what we are doing and what we are about to do but I feel like he doesn't know this until he gets to the place where he wants to run wild for instance we are going to park and but there's no two way communication such as "yay park".

The only commands he understands right now is he brings his shoes when requested, he brings his bathrobe when I tell him it's bath time and runs to the bathroom before me, he understands when it's meal times and climbs in his high chair when I say dinner time let's go and eat yummy food, he understands when we are going out and I ask him to come over then he will run to door with his shoes, he understands when I ask him to brush his teeth he will grab his toothbrush so I can squirt some paste and when we are colouring, I ask him to use yellow/pink pencil to colour he will pick it.

He recognises his numbers and the alphabet, knows most of the animals and the sounds they make, recognises most of the shapes and colours and knows most of food Ingredients which makes up for nearly his 100 words.

What he doesn't understand is; He won't pass an object as he will run off with it or other commands such as put the cup down, give me your plate, bring me this toy, hold this for mummy, let's feed the duck, put the toy in the bag, let's go to the park, park is closed now, close the door, pick this or that up and other things I request him to do. I don't know if this is because he isn't interested in it as he is too active and is non compliant because of it or whether he is behind.

Routine instructions is fine but his tasks instructions is very poor. I use very simple language and have to constantly repeat repeat and shouty repeat sometimes but still receive poor response and no action. We haven't fully jumped to the two words level yet and I'm just worried and needed some advice from you.

Thanks

Apologies for my grammar as I have taken my contact lenses off but I'm really desperate to take any action to help him in anyway.

Any advice anyone? I would really appreciate any of your views. Thank you 🙏

I agree with you that his understanding sounds a bit behind – I would expect a typical 27 month old to understand pretty much all the words associated with their day to day life, even if they weren't yet saying much. It does also sound like his grasp of the back-and-forth nature of communication is a bit behind, so I think it's definitely worth getting a professional to have a look. (That said, it also sounds like he has lots of strengths, starting understand emotions, knowing his colours and shapes, etc.)

Has he had his two year check yet? If it's due soon (it's a 27 month check where I am), you could raise it then. Otherwise, a hearing test is usually the first port of call – it's remarkably hard to tell in day to day life if children aren't hearing well, so it's the first thing to check. In most areas you can self-refer for a hearing test, so I'd do that right away. Some areas also have speech and language drop-in sessions – if you're in one of those areas, I'd go to one of those as well. If not, I'd see about getting the HV or GP to refer you to speech and language. That you don't think he understands a lot of what you say should encourage them to check things now, rather than wait and see – they may be less worried about him not saying so much himself, since quite a lot of toddlers just take a bit longer to get the words out themselves.

At home, I think the advice is to really simplify your language when talking to him (think 1-4 words phrases/sentences), and try to talk about what he is looking at/playing with/eating, repeating one key word. 'Oh, bus! Red bus. You're driving the bus. Broom-broom goes the bus.' 'Jumping. You're jumping. You jump high!' (Apologies if you are already doing these things.)

Does he play little nursery games that have a back-and-forth or interactive element? Throwing/kicking a ball back and forth? Building a tower together and knocking it down? Peek-a-boo (perhaps when he was younger)? If you did something silly, would he imitate you or ask you (verbally or otherwise) to do it again? I think all these sorts of games are supposed to be good for helping build the two-way element of communication. (Again, apologies if I'm telling you things you already know.)

Thank you so much for taking time and responding, I really appreciate it. He hasn't had his 2 year check up yet and I will call the HV first thing as I have recently moved but also did update my HV/GP with my new address details, maybe they might have sent it already but to my old address as I have been waiting for it. I will also request to get his ears checked as well along with it. He is due to start nursery in September and I was kind of hoping this would improve the areas that I'm worried about.

I play with him a lot and he is very keen in learning because as soon as I show him something or a different way to play with his toys, he stops what he's doing and comes over with his big bright eyes saying woowww and starts playing like the way I show him and he shows it back to me looking into my eyes waiting for a praise and approval but if there's a ball game for instance, there's no back and forth and this is where the lack of simple commands worries me. With actions he is very good as he will copy and seek approval but verbal commands such as pass the ball, push it, bring it, take it, hold it, throw it, close it, shut it, bounce it he doesn't understand.

When I communicate with him, I always use simple language and always tell DH and family to use simple language with both languages he is learning. I was thinking maybe being brought up in a bilingual household may have impacted his understanding by slowing it down compared to other toddlers who are exposed to one language? Deep down all this time I did actually think this which is why I gave him more time to develop at his own pace but I'm getting a bit desperate now and want to know ways I could help him and investigate further if it's something else.

Before hitting 18 months, I was very worried about lack of pointing, lack of eye contact, lack of words, not responding to name, occasionally hand flapping when excited and google indicated asd but literally within a month he changed so much. He still isn't cuddly but today at the beach, he ran back and forth chasing waves and enjoyed using his bucket and spade and was so happy he shouted mummy as I was watching him from a distance and taking photos while he was playing with daddy. He looked around for me, saw me and ran towards me stroked my cheek and went back to play. I can honestly say this is the first affection I will always remember other than a few months ago when he first kissed me but other than that, he has never been cuddly and always hated sitting on my lap etc or hated being lifted up and carried.

I honestly don't have any experience with toddlers and don't know enough about them to be able to compare or know enough if this is normal development or not. I read a lot and mumsnet has been very useful to catch up with the areas I have no experience or knowledge in. I research a lot, buy books and read it but when you have a real human in front of you and no other toddlers to compare them to,l although HV says never compare, I honestly don't know what's normal
Development or not. I know my answer is basically seek professional advice but I guess I wanted some reassurance until I do.

I'm in a similar situation with my son, who is 2.5 years old. Everything you've described is the stage my son is at too. My son had his 30 month review with the HV a couple of weeks ago and showed he scored low on communication which I expected. (A word of warning about the Ages and Stages' questionnaire they use...it's very b&w. My son has hundreds of words but I could only tick 27/50 of the words on the questionnaire list!) My son has hundreds of words but his understanding is taking longer to come although I think it will eventually.
My HV has suggested we wait 3 months and review again then. If needed, a referral to speech & language can be done then.
My comment may not be helpful but hopefully helps to reassure you you're not alone. I'm finding I'm now overthinking it all and there are days I over analyse and get really upset about it. I love my HV but there are times I feel it makes us worry more about developmental milestones so I'll be following your thread for sure.

Thank you for sharing your experience and I have contacted the HV after this thread where he was given an appointment next week.

For me it's really hard to explain because everything seems normal but his understanding isn't there compared to toddlers his age. He gets exposed to many activities and social settings but he just doesn't understand. His very tall for his age and looks 3 years old and when strangers approach him, he just ignores them, doesn't respond to even simple social interaction. He just stares at them and tries to hide.

I met a family down the beach and DS was holding a ball and a young family approached us and we started chatting, the lady got down to his level and was using simple friendly language saying "wow you have a lovely ball can I play, can I hold the ball etc" DS just looked at her blank and just ignored or there would be instances in the shops where our friendly local staff would be like "what colour lolly is that" DS would then just ignore. He knows he has a lolly, he knows which lolly he wants, he requests it by the colour saying "green lolly" but when I or someone ask he just ignores and doesn't interact. Right now he gets his needs met as he communicates and asks for it but in terms of social interaction or a two way conversation, he doesn't get it.

Hi @boringbrain sorry I know this is an old thread but it sounds v similar to my son, did you get any answers?

Hi @NS05 ds is now 3.5 and tbh, he is slightly speech delayed but he has great understanding now. He does well at nursery and no issues about his behaviour as such or anything. He is on a waiting list for speech therapy though as he needs a slight boost. He has been toilet trained for 6 months now. From 2.9 years, he just peaked and peaked since he first started nursery and I sometimes wish I put him in earlier. He is great with kids and plays with them whereas before he used to play alongside. He tells me about his feelings, tells me about his day and who he has played with when at nursery. He only just moans when he has to leave the park and walks alongside me whereas before I used to drag him out kicking and screaming. He doesn't bolt and listens to instructions very well. He is emotionally much more mature. He responds to strangers and tells his name when his asked and his age and has been doing that for a while. Since stopping bf 6 months ago, he has slept 12 hours straight without waking up. He is very very cheeky and extremely affectionate. He says he loves me constantly and says he loves mummy cuddles. I no longer have any concerns apart from the speech which it could be better. Also, he plays amazingly selling ice creams and creating pizza slices from his magnetic tiles and trying to sell them for £10 pounds and if you don't have £10, he will say sorry ''no ice cream or pizza for you if you don't have money".

Thanks @boringbrain this has really put me at ease! Sounds like he's doing great!!