First meeting with paed - what to expect?

[PoinsettiaBouquets]

We've finally got an appt at a Neurodevelopmental Clinic for a first professional look at our funny little DS(3 in Feb), as referred by SALT. Just wondered what to expect and what tips anyone has?

Do you think they'll just observe and play with him or interview DH & me too? Will they want to hear every peculiar thing about him since he was a baby (some of which he's grown out of) or just what he still does differently to other kids? Do I mention my dad who shares many of these traits with DS?

There is still a good chance there is nothing wrong with DS (or my dad ) which would be great obviously but I really do think he has Aspergers traits and will need more professional opinions. I am so worried I will come across as some overbearing Proxy Munchausens fishwife and will get the usual 'well he seems normal to me' response the world and his wife say when I mention it.

I can only speak for what happened in our visit but the paed spoke to me while ds played in the corner with some toys with a nurse.

He wanted to know as much about ds as possible and we had written a list of everything we considered important. We included all the nehaviours that we were concerned about and also examples of those behaviours. We gave a brief history of his early years but concentrated on the last 6-12 months. I hope that helps.

Don't worry about their reaction to what you have to say. They are quite used to people coming in to tell them this sort of thing. YOu are also not alone with the 'he seems normal to me' attitude. Its usually said by well meaning people but its bloody irritating as it suggests that we are making it up. If you are worried about your son than just remember that you know him better than anyone else and whether or not he ends up with a dx you are only doing this becuase you are a good parent.

At the first appointment the Paed had set out some toys on the floor for ds. While the Paed was talking to us they were also watching to see what ds did, eg what they did with the toys, whether they tried to get our attention and share things with us, whether they tried to communicate in any way. Ds1 also had his head measured and the Paed listened to his chest.

The Paed will be asking questions about things like:

• How was your pregnancy? (Any problems etc)
• When ds was born (ie no.of weeks into pregnancy)
• How was the birth? (Type of birth and any problems)
• When did ds walk/talk? (if relevant)
• When did you first suspect that there might be a problem?
• How does he get on with other children/adults?
• If he's at nursery/pre-school etc how is he doing there?
• Any family history of any problems?
• What things concern you about your ds?

It would be a good idea to make a few notes before you go so that you don't forget anything. It will also help you to remember important milestones.

I think a lot of people have that feeling where they think the Paed will tell them they are just being neurotic. I have two boys with ASD and had that feeling both times.

Poinsetta, my first meeting was very similar to Coppertop's and Dustystar. She did ask all those question, plus watched DS play and then tried to engage him in play herself. I always remember hoping against hope she was going to say he was fine (though knowing really that he is autistic). And I also remember that she was terribly tactful and softly spoken when eventually telling us very gently that he is ASD. I was pleased she did it nicely. I also remember another paed asking me if DS ever points, and my heart sinking as I realised in a flash that of course he never did, unlike my daughter. Pointing is such a sharing attention gesture, plus an imaginative one, so of course my ASD DS had no use for it. Good luck to you, it is not fun but at least it is progress.

As per the others, they are interested in the pregnancy, birth and any problems shortly after birth, as well as unusual developmental milestones and family history on both sides. They do do checks on the child itself - mainly observation, but as my son was hypotonic and only 15 months old at the time so fewer things could be ruled out straight away, also tested reflexes, eyesight and heart sounds in his case at the first appointment. In my opinion, it is better to risk coming across as a paranoid mum and get all the things that worry you out of the way than to keep quiet - the things I didn't mention at my first appointment I continued to worry about and ended up asking about at subsequent appointments, anyway. If it bothers you, then mention it, or you'll just never stop worrying about it.

Well, we had the meeting today, DS behaved like his usual self in a dull room (quite diffciult) and the lady agrees with me that many of his issues look like Aspergers traits. She's referring us to a weekly autism assessment clinic and also to EP to get the ball rolling for pre-school next year.
Am relieved because he's still our funny little boy and it's going to be great getting help and because I KNEW IT mwahahaha (can I get a t-shirt with that on?). But have been quite tearful since, guess it's kind of a watershed event isn't it?
She also said he seemed very intelligent .