So Sad and Really Struggling…

[Blossom4538]

Hi all,
Apologies for the depressing pose…I’m struggling and feeling so down. I’m worried about my ASD child and their specialist school. They are high functioning but unable to cope in mainstream - going into secondary. BUT the Specialist Schools don’t seem a right fit for her either.
She won’t be home educated or “unschooled” - I just don’t know what the future holds and im so sad she won’t be able to go to mainstream secondary like most of her peers.

Im dreading the summer holidays, as she can’t really cope very well going out and about. Will have huge meltdowns which I can no longer cope with on my own or sometimes even with help, due to the severe nature, her strength and the fact she’s as big as me. What on earth are we going to do all Summer?! H is trying to take some time off during the break.

Im on anti-depressants, have had a tough year with one thing or another, as has our DD bless her. I have a few other stresses and worries about a close family member. I just feel in this dark, dark tunnel.

*Post, not pose!

Im dreading the summer holidays, as she can’t really cope very well going out and about

Re the meltdowns, can you pinpoint what triggers most of them and put interventions in place?

Sensory audio - will she wear ear defenders? Look on the Flare website for their small Calmer in-ear devices, loads of positive reviews for helping autistic people.

Too bright - Sunglasses or other tinted lenses?

Clothing I expect you know by now what she can tolerate.

Safe space at home to retreat to.

Make sure you know what her expectations are before going out anywhere so she doesn't feel out of control. If her expectations are unrealistic, suggest alternatives. Try slowly to introduce flexibility into plans to counteract rigidity of expectations. e.g. Tuesday, we'll shop for new shoes, but if it's raining, we'll stay at home and watch a DVD.

When you're out, as soon as you see her begin to be overwhelmed, take her home to her safe space. Don't wait for the overwhelm to get so big she has meltdown. Make sure she knows she can access her safe space when she needs to.

I could write pages, but only you know her triggers.

What about structuring her days, does that help her feel more settled?