Do you ever think you live in a different world to everyone else??

[2shoes]

today I was behind a sn mini bus. i found my self looking at the wheelchairs.
it made me realise that I live in a different world. where wheelchairs and carers are the norm. where people are nice and welcoming. I walk into ds's nt secondary school and feel awkward and out of place. I go to dd's sn secondary and feel warm and welcomed.
I feel like I am living in a parallel universe. where every one plays charades and talking about pooh is totally normal.
anyone else?

Message withdrawn

there are caring people in this world 2shoes.

it's only in the media world where other things are important.

yes indeedy. All my friends have children with SN and I only venture out of the house to go to appointments where my other kids learn about botox and dystonia and reflux and all other exciting things that go with CP. We assess everywhere for wheelchair accessibility, even if dd isn't with us.
Went to ds's school which is a NT school and posh and felt like a martian. It had steps!!! Made me all hot cross bunned inside. And they were only interested in acaedemic prowess and all the other mums were pushy 'perfect' mums.
When I do talk to norms I am astonished they know nothing about disability rights, the DDA (which I think we can recite), where all the steps and drop kerbs are etc etc and none of them can do 'name that SN' from 100 yards. And they get on buses with no forward planning!!!!
Weird planet they live on I reckon.

tobymumkate.

I know what you mean, ds (6.9) teacher gets exited when ds goes the whole day without wetting his pants

And his old nursery teacher came running up to me with a huge grin on her face last week and said 'oooh your ds said hello to me today when I passed him in the corridor'

God knows what the other arents must have thought who overheard

Hi havent got the comparison between NT and Sn as my son is ny first and has severe SN. Before I had thmi I worked with young people and adults with special needs- I love it and it soon became my world I guess. then I found myself as a parent in the SN world.

I dont any different than having umpteen appiotments per week, spending hours making calls and chasing things up, contatnly tripping over all the specilast equiptment I have in my house...its normal to me, never known any different its not until i visit friends with NT children the same age as my ds i see see the comparison

It's true and it does rub off on your NT children. NT Ds1 who told me that he thought that a little boy in the new Reception intake must have "problems like Ds2" because he had to sit on the teacher's lap during assembly. I was really impressed that he had thought of the likely reason rather than just dismiss him as babyish or strange like many other kids might (or adults for that matter).

Yep- was thinking this today (having started to use Facebook and finding out what old friends are up to. Just looking at their photo albums says a lot!

My mum picked ds2 up from school the other day "oh no" he said "ds1 will be mad tonight'. My mum asked why "full moon, huh". ONe of his very good friends at school (much older than him - but they've teamed up) has AS.

(can you add me as a freind on fb)

yes- will try to tonight (I am a bit thick when it comes to fb)

It does rub off on the NT ones yes- BIBIC were ptsl when DS2 started flapping in repsonse to something! He has learned so much from his brothers-

I find it ahrd tor elate to Mums at school, yes- they dont understand about statements, they expres shock that DS's dont get aprty invites (but they never sent one either- always somebody elses responsibility?), they think we're LUCKY to have 1-1 support in the classroom, they talk about clothes and makeup. I used to talk about clothes and makeup, I even trained as a makeup artist. Like that would be a possibility in my literally 5 minutes get ready stint these days .

Ds2 (the NT one) is the odd one to me though, in many ways, which is really sad.

I so agree with you all. I remember one mum to a "normal" child telling me she had wept for an hour because she didn't like her son's new haircut. You feel like screaming - she doesn't know she's born. Or mums who blah on about Kumon maths or violin lessons, and I'm just glad if my DS learns how to say wee-wee! I have a NF daughter and an ASD son. I was so used to going to parent's meetings about my daughter, who is doing really well at school, that I forgot to brace myself when going to the parent's meeting about my DS - which is more like a battle to survive without crying than a meeting.

2shoes,

I can totally relate to your post. Ds1 was in a split placement until September, when he went full time at his ms school. Beforehand when he was only doing two days at ms and 3 at sn. I would dread walking through the playground and feel totally alien and out of place. Most mornings was a battle just to get Ds1 up the school drive. The whole experience was just so much more impersonal than sn school. Everything about it. Its amazing how having a sn child makes you feel so close to other parents who are in the same boat. I see a family walking down the street who are complete strangers who push their child in a wheelchair and I find myself grinning at them because I just know I am in the same boat.

Ds1 is now at ms full time and I have to say he is coping really well and everything about him has improved. Most importantly, we now walk through the playground smiling with our heads up high and feeling like we are in the right place...........for now anyway!

I wish dd's school (the sn one) was close by. But she's picked up by taxi, its 7 miles and not on any bus routes so I never get to see anyone there. Its in a posh part of town so no chance of ever living nearby.
The mainstream one is 3 mins walk and we are the aliens who are stared at. dd likes it though. But then at 3, she doesn;t realise she is 'different'. Some days i dread when she does.

well i always feel more relaxed at SN things than i ever did at MS stuff, it is nice not to have to explain autism and just getting on with it really.

Ds1 was at respite today so we pretended to be normal and took the other 2 to a small zoo. We will NEVER be normal. It really does change everything.

Was half proud half amused by ds2 and ds3 though - we ended up somehow entwined with a group of older boys with obvious LD's and whilst other children were being a bit wary my 2 of course didn't even notice. PMSL.

Oh yes, at ds2's school the other mums winge that their dc reading book hasn't been changed or I hear "how many key words has your dc had this week"
One of the mums asked me in the first week of school if I'd managed to get phonic embedded during the summer hols.. I felt like embedding her!
Sod phonics, I was the crazy lady sitting in the car outside the school every couple of days for the 6 wk hols making sure he didn't forget what the place looked like. We also had photos of the teacher on the fridge.
I must look like some weird stalker.
DS2 is 5 & I couldn't care less that he can't read a single word or count I'm just happy that he is managing to go to school without chewing his arms.
Yes certainly a different world to to that of an nt parent.
Oh & as for "what after school clubs does your ds do" - answer - None, not sure what an anxious, sensory sensitive asd wobbly CP child would do??

It's hard this world we're in.. but all the other parents in it are so nice, warm and caring. And I want to mother all the children in it too..

oh shiny glad you said that. One of the boys with LD's really reminded me of ds1 (more able but there was something about him that was shared iykwim) and I started going onto dh about how lovely he was. He was such a sweety.

psml at "I felt like embedding her!".

when you feel a sense of "coming home" when you are with another mum who is working hard to communicate with their child who also has delayed language.

when looking for mainstream schools, you ignore the league tables, and instead grill heads/sencos about SN policies.

Yep...in fact I don't think I live in a different world to everyone else, more like on a different planet half the time Give me that over and above the "normal" world any day of the week, I say!

great thread, makes me feel like there is hope! iykwim...

I'm really feeling it at the moment - probably because xmas is approaching.