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Original poster

Pragmatics?

29 replies

mrsforgetful · 05/11/2004 21:28

Had the following conversation with my 5 year old -and as i was trying to get him to sing into a microphone....i still have it on tape.

it's kind of cute....but bothers me to.

Me:"sing a song"

Alex:"sing a song"

me:"SING A SONG!!!!!"

alex:"sing a song"

me:"NO! YOU sing a song"

alex:"No you sing a song"

me:ALEX!!! I want you to sing a song to me!

alex:want you to sing a song to me.

Now this wasn't one of those 'copycat' conversations where someones copies everything you say......he seemed to not have a clue.

and he still refers to everyone as HE or HIM or HIS.....and says MAYKED-instead of MADE
BUY-YED- instead of bought

and others i can't remember.....school say he does have imature speech.

he is 5yrs 6mths....should i keep the tape as EVIDENSE for the paed()...or simply cos it's SWEEEEEEEET!!?

OP posts:
JaysMum · 05/11/2004 21:46

Hi I'm Jays Mum and new here. Was recommended to come along and introduce myself. Jay is nearly 9 and has Aspergers. We have just removed him from mainstream and today received confirmation that Jay can have a placement at the local special school in Sept 05In the meantime we have to home educate him. The next 10 months are going to be fun!!!
Look forward to meeting up with you all.

Jays Mum

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 05/11/2004 21:53

Hello!
as you may have read i have 3 boys- tom has Asperger's and ADHD -he's 10. Leigh has seen a SALT and she thinks he's got AS too-he's 8-and lastly is Alex- he's 5 and teachers are finding him challenging...and i am sure he will need further help- but as yet no-one else agrees!!!

hope you enjoy mumsnet- it is my lifeline.
and as this thread shows...my place to sound out my thoughts....

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coppertop · 05/11/2004 22:14

Keep it for both of those reasons, MrsF. Bless him. It reminds me of conversations with ds1 where you have to ask the same question in 10 different ways before either he understands or I just give up.

Jaysmum - Have you joined any of the Home Ed e-mail lists? There are some especially for parents who home-ed children with SN.

blossomhill · 05/11/2004 23:51

Hi Jaysmum So glad to see you on here.

You know who I am!!! Love Blossomhillxxx

blossomhill · 06/11/2004 23:13

Mrs Forgetful - Do all children with Aspergers have problems with Pragmatics? Thanks Blossomhillx

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 07/11/2004 14:50

that i don't know...it's just when i sat down and compared the Asperger's communication criteria to the pragmatics ones...there were so may similarities....the literal thinking,routines,poor turn taking in conversations etc....so i'd be interested in an 'aofficial' answer too!!!
(JimJams...davros...are you there?)

OP posts:
blossomhill · 07/11/2004 14:58

Hi MrsF - are you sleeping better this week?
Apparently children with pragmatic language disorders do have overlaps with Apsergers. So thinking about I suppose tha they do??? I think I heard it once described as a grey area that overlaps or something. It's all so bl**dy confusing isn't it?
Me and dh have decided that dd has a mixed bag of everthing. A lttle bit of each but not enough to fit the full criteria. Does that make sense?
Spoke to the SALT at dd's school and her main area of difficulty is pragmatics, which is just below average. This causes problems socially, again just under average. Everything else is age appropriate.

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 07/11/2004 22:21

makes perfect sense to me!

Basically....rightly or wrongly i 'dip in and out' of all the different 'sydromes' for either support/backing up/strategies or simply reassurance that whatever they are doing is ok.

for example tom has a dx of Asperger's and ADHD....yet he appears soooooooo dyspraxic sometimes....so i bought a great dyspraxia book- and i read it as and when something crops up....and its like his ADHD to me isn't probably 'pure adhd'....as it's complex with a dual diagnosis as i can't tell where one begins and one ends....but if i try to pretend that he has only the one diagnosis...you can bet that he will display the other diagnosis 100 times worse !

what i mean is....if i try to pretend he's not 'pure adhd' and we go without his medication...everything gets worse...including his AS....so....flip it and assume he's ADHD and not AS...and medicate and then stop using AS strategies and he is lost----so i guess this spectrum is as vast as i can imagine.

for me ...i kind of see Dyslexia/dyspraxia/adhd/sem.prag and asperger's all in the same pot.... and the strength of the impairment is what determines the dominant dx ...so in the AS case they have to have the TRIAD of impairments...which is exactly that...impairments...not absence....so a AS child can be communicative/verbal/imaginative/social etc.....but somewhere in there they need to have a reduced ability...

to be honest if it's this confusing for us as the parents it's no wonder the teachers have a hard time too....but what pees me off is that if they asked us we can share our knowledge as WE KNOW OUR CHILDREN better than anyone else.

OP posts:
Davros · 07/11/2004 22:25

I'm afraid this is something I know little about, having a non-verbal DS.

blossomhill · 07/11/2004 22:26

Mrs F - I can always rely on you to talk sense

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 07/11/2004 22:28

Just read my last post!!!

OMG!!! I talk like that too!!!

Noone can ever follow me as i am branching off at tangents all over the place!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsforgetful · 07/11/2004 22:28

Just read my last post!!!

OMG!!! I talk like that too!!!

Noone can ever follow me as i am branching off at tangents all over the place!!!

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blossomhill · 07/11/2004 22:30

Me too MrsF. You must be my long lost sister. I have always been known as scatty for as long as I can remember. I just can't concentrate as it hurts my head, seriously

charliecat · 07/11/2004 22:32

I must be scatty too it made perfect sense to me!!!!!!!

blossomhill · 07/11/2004 22:33

Mrs F - Please try and come to the meet on Friday. I'd love to meet you
I am not a stalker - honest!!!!!

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 07/11/2004 22:58

blossy- you ought to search mine & coppertops earliest conversations....we are certainly separated at birth....and yes you must be the lost triplet!!

i have done things so bizarre and scatty that when i tell people they think i am lying!!!

I don't need to exagerate about how eventful my life is when i have so many disasters...as it really happens!!!

my husband spent the day with me last monday and it was very frustarting for him as he saw the 'real me'!!!!!

on the whole i am a very bubbly person- outwardly.....but inside i am shaking like a leaf!!!

my repatoir this year includes

Flooding the kitchen

Trying to fix the central heating system (i'm not qualified!) & breaking it.

and turning our bedroom into a bombsite- cluttered with socks and 'things that will come in handy'

ah well..... better get the kids school clothes ready!!!

OP posts:
blossomhill · 07/11/2004 23:11

I am the long lost triplet MrsF

JaysMum · 08/11/2004 00:08

Mrs F,

You make complete sense to me.
J has dx of ADHD but he has no probs with attention or concentration. The docs then threw Dyspraxia and Dyslexia into the pot.He's been having SALT since age 2 because of Pragmatic probs so now they have added SPD to his growing list of labels. J has so many sensory problems it's unbelievable so now we have SID!!!
Just for good measure J is now awaiting an appointment to go to NAS for dx of Aspergers!!!!

I just think that J is a classic example of a "Tapestry Kid" and that he has so many little bits of each condition that the docs really do not know what to dx him with.

At the end of the day he's my J and I wouldn't change him for the world. They can give him all the labels they want - it will never change him from being the blonde haired blue eyed boy who tells me "he loves me sometimes"!!!

Bloss - do you think that Yorkie lass D , you and me should try to get a weekend sorted?

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 08/11/2004 14:16

exactly how i feel j's mum

Tapestry,spectrum of many colours,unique,and so much more all rolled into one!!!

OP posts:
blossomhill · 08/11/2004 14:20

Mrs F - you just do it everytime. Describe what I mean I really must e-mail you soon!!!

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 08/11/2004 14:28

great minds think alike....now for the 'gushy bit'

THIS IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT MUMSNET....there we all are in all the towns and cities...miles apart.......and yet we all share such similar thoughts.
i would love to meet everyone of you and dream of all our special children meeting......and us all understanding their 'funny quirks'......and none of us judging......and better than that....when someone has a 'meltdown' we'll all be using the same strategies....as we've learnt them on here!!!!

p.s...coppertop is my evening stalker.....you can be my afternoon one!!!!

i came on here to re-charge my batteries before i go to get the boys!!

OP posts:
coppertop · 08/11/2004 14:35

Is someone stealing my stalking job?

Dh told me yesterday (after my latest exploits ) that I can't even do a simple thing without it going wrong and turning into a drama or disaster. I think we should start a story-swapping thread just for scatty souls like us.

Original poster
mrsforgetful · 08/11/2004 14:37

Oi!!! You!!!!

Yes you!!!!

COPPERTOP!!!!

Hellllooooo!

Great idea!

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coppertop · 08/11/2004 14:41

I'll have to dress ds2 (who as usual has stripped off all his clothes) and collect ds1 from school in a minute but if someone starts the thread I'll post my disasters later. Yesterday's involved a simple taxi ride which ended with me jogging alongside a dual carriageway.

blossomhill · 08/11/2004 14:48

MrsF - How can we meet? You live miles away don't you?