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SN children

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Original poster

Be honest - if your DC with ASD is toilet trained, how long did it take?

25 replies

sphil · 23/11/2007 14:35

Ok - day 2 and it's becoming pretty obvious that DS2 has no idea that wee and the loo are connected. I've been putting him on the loo every 20 minutes today - he drinks fairly constantly throughout the day (otherwise we wouldn't get his supplements into him). He sits there very happily - we're using a time timer (thanks Yurt!) and he's up to 4 minutes. But then he gets off and two minutes later we have wet pants, which he then removes and gives to me! I'm just taking them, making no comment, putting dry ones on and then continuing with the toilet routine.

I'd really like to know how long this stage is likely to go on for. If I know that someone else has done something similar for weeks and weeks and then their child has suddenly got it, I'll feel happier. Or months and months....or years and years...God help me

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Pixel · 23/11/2007 15:46

Well I've got to be honest, it was months. Sorry.
He did 'get it' quite suddenly though, just as I was really beginning to despair. He does have the odd lapse still, usually when he's off-colour but in the main he's pretty reliable and has been out of night-time nappies since August with only one wet bed.

PersonalClown · 23/11/2007 15:48

Same as Pixel.
It just 'clicked' with ds. Nighttime remains a mystery as he's seems to have inherited my pre-ds heavy sleeper gene.
Ds was just past his 4th birthday.

hunkermunker · 23/11/2007 15:52

How old is he, Sphil?

coppertop · 23/11/2007 16:30

It took ds2 months. He started at Easter time with just a few minutes a day. It was gradually built up until he was wearing pants all day in the summer holidays. He still wears nappies at night though.

tobysmumkent · 23/11/2007 16:41

Message withdrawn

Original poster

sphil · 23/11/2007 17:06

OK - thanks everyone. I don't mind plugging on with it if I have the hope that it'll eventually just click. DS2 is 5 btw but his language skills are at about a 2 year old level, which also has an impact I think.

Sorry - DS1 is reading this over my shoulder and wants to know how emoticons work. So here goes

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mccreadymum · 23/11/2007 17:16

I reckon it took 6 months with my DS, from start to finish, and during that time I nearly went mad - obsessing about his wees and poos! Quite a few people told me to give up and try later, but that didn't make sense to me as I'd only have to go through all the pain again. If you persevere and don't give in to nappies, it does work and the feeling of pride you get is worth it in the end. Good luck sphil!!

Homsa · 23/11/2007 19:44

About a week to get the message, then another week to consolidate. We started off by ditching the nappies and "catching" his wees in a potty, giving chocolate buttons as reinforcers. He then started weeing into the potty standing up (was in the summer, so spent most of the day naked!). Eventually managed to teach him to pull his pants down and sit down. Then moved him on to the toilet a few weeks later.

If your DS ever gets to a stage where he is holding in his wee and gets absolutely miserable, don't give up! DS did that just before we had a "breakthrough", and I've seen this happend with other ASD children as well.

Good luck!

spacegirl · 23/11/2007 19:51

Sphill I am very impressed at your determination I alternate between pants and nappies. I really hope that the clicking into place happens soon for the sake of soft furnishings. My DH and I are always wondering why we didn't scotch guard!

Been since September with no accidents on the whole in school for wees but accidents outside nursery every day. Gutted as he always saves his poo for me - has no intention of using potty/ toilet. Forgot how much he hates the shower today - he sprinted off with his movicol loose poo ending up all around the house before smearing the sofa and hiding behind it. The joys. Obviously nappies at night. Was hoping that persistance might meant that by the time he starts school proper it might happen. He is 3.5 and I am not sure he is ready but nursery want him to wear pants and then do you do half and half? I stick him in a nappy if we are going out and I can't face the mess. I have a random approach but that is the kind of girl I am.

Peachy · 23/11/2007 19:54

Well he was toilet rained and that wasn'tt oo abd- a few weeks? (coompareed to one with the others- ds1's hfa delayed it a bit I think but thats about it).

he lost it again after 6 months, but thats by the by I think- regressions come, regressions go

ladygrinningTooSoonForXmasName · 23/11/2007 19:54

By great good luck we happened to start training DS (at 3.5) right when he hit the stage Homsa mentions (we ditched the nappies and he immediately started holding it in and being miserable and it was all over bar a few accidents in a matter of days. What really worked was offering rewards for weeing in the toilet.

Peachy · 23/11/2007 19:56

Yurt ahs a book recommendation on her site btw which I have bought (not read yet but hey the intention is there)

tobysmumkent · 23/11/2007 20:01

Message withdrawn

Original poster

sphil · 23/11/2007 21:46

Yep, thats the one I've got. It's very thorough!
Homsa - I'm impressed with the catching the wees in the potty idea. The trouble is, DS2 always seems to wee when I'm out of the room or on the phone. I do think the constant hanging around him that I'm doing makes him feel pressurised - and I guess if you want to catch a wee you have to be hanging around pretty constantly!

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yurt1 · 23/11/2007 22:05

It took about a year. Then from clueless to dry day and night overnight the day he was meant to start reception (although we're now back in nappies at night but that's another story!)

yurt1 · 23/11/2007 22:06

BTW I didn't do wet pants for a year - I just spent a lot of time sitting him on the toilet to try and catch....

supportman · 23/11/2007 22:43

Still trying to train client 142 at the age of 23

Saker · 23/11/2007 23:54

Sphil, I think what helped crack the weeing idea for Ds2 was getting him on the toilet first thing in the morning, when he nearly always wanted to go. I just did that for ages and didn't take him at all other than that or take him out of pull-ups. It helped that he was quite often starting to be dry at night but it might be worth a try just to get a few successes under your belt so he can understand what's expected of him.

Have you enlisted the help of Ds1 and Dh to show him what he's supposed to be doing also?

(although in our case this didn't make much difference as Ds2 said "Daddy and Ds1 do wees on the toilet but I do them in my nappy"
...

Homsa · 24/11/2007 20:26

Sphil - catching the wees in the potty wasn't as hard as it sounds, as DS realised pretty quickly that weeing from now on had a nasty consequence - getting his clothes wet - and therefore was to be avoided at all costs. He'd hold his wee in for as long as possible, displaying all the tell-tale sings of wiggling his bum and clutching his crotch ... so I'd just stand there with the potty ready to jump! I think I was really lucky that he had a bit of a phobia about wet clothes at the time, that definitely helped - basically an in-built aversive if you like... Must be a lot more difficult if they don't mind getting wet.

Original poster

sphil · 24/11/2007 23:03

Yes, we've all done the weeing modeling chez Sphil! I even found myself suspended over the loo the other day, pointing to the wee saying 'LOOK, DS2, wee-wee, wee-wee in the TOILET'. (Only on MN could I be admitting something like that ).

He just says 'wee-wee' and turns away, brimming with indifference.

He doesn't much like wet pants but just takes them off!
Yurt, when you say you didn't do wet pants, do you mean you had him in training pants or just bare?

Still, it's encouraging language.

Me: Pants down. Sit on toilet. (DS2 sits)
DS2: Finish...finish
Me: Look at the clock. In four minutes, when the red has gone, then finish.
DS2: Clock (five seconds elapse). Finish...finish
Me: Do wee wee.
DS2: swis...swis...swis... (I think he thinks making the sound will do!) Finish...finish....

etc etc...

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Davros · 25/11/2007 23:36

I think, from day one to really being trained took at year! And we had an intensive home ABA program...... Are you giving lots of R+ for just sitting on the toilet?

yurt1 · 26/11/2007 00:29

agree with Davros- get him sitting on the toilet.... we then timed sitting on the toilet to coincide with known poo times in an attempt to catch. That eventually worked, but took about a year.

Original poster

sphil · 26/11/2007 10:39

I'm not giving R+ for sitting - I thought that it would confuse him when what I really want him to do is wee! I mean, I am saying 'good sitting' and keeping him entertained with songs and games etc, but I was saving the Whizzers for the actual event. Is that wrong do you think?

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yurt1 · 26/11/2007 15:24

We did that. Initially it was keeping ds1 sitting long enough that was the problem. So we used buttons to get him to sit, then faded, and used books to keep him there, & buttons to reinforce anything we caught. Is he regular with poos? DS1 had a very fixed timetable which made it a bit easier to catch poos rather than wees.

Original poster

sphil · 26/11/2007 23:23

He used to be regular (and loose!) every night after he went to bed without fail - until Mike Ash! Now he's doing little poos at different times of the day - not great when toilet training. Must contact Mike again - his regime has done wonders for the eczema and asthma, and has certainly helped solidify the bowels, but this pooing throughout the day is a pain.
Dh managed to get him to the loo on Sunday when a poo was just coming out. He said that when it dropped into the loo DS2's face was a picture - he was looking all around wondering what had made the splash .

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