Need a bit of empathy - Has anyones DC wee'd very publically in the school playground?

[spacegirl]

and another mum said it is just not on for him to do it and felt like we were both judged very wrongly and I feel crap and have had lots of tears. He has done it before. Gets stuff into his head and has a repetitive random thing going on that I find it hard to intervene. I am just going to have to try and keep him strapped in the pushchair. He is 3.5 and has speech delay and a social communication problem that is yet to be dx but maybe asd.

Oh what a stupid woman (her not you) even without sn he is still very young & some children do that sort of thing sometimes.

ds2 spits at everyone, but I can't gag him so i know it can be

Take no notice of her

Thanks I am just getting down at people who don't even know the situation, whether in school or at playgroups. It would have been funny minus the hassle and nastiness. He was standing at the top of a climbing frame for all to see!

My three children were at school with a ds boy who did that very thing - he was 7 maybe? They mentioned it, but were not traumatised! I think most children are more accepting of difference than many adults.

What a STUPID woman. Did she think he did it on purpose to be naughty or something?! She should have been sympathetic. I don't know many children at 3.5 who don't still occasionally wet themselves when they've got too involved in doing something else. My son pooed in his pants at preschool the other day (also 3.5 years old). That was embarrassing, but no-one made out that I ought to be ashamed of myself or my son, or that he must therefore have some dreadful bowel abnormality. He was just too shy to tell the teachers he needed to go, and couldn't hold on until home time. Don't strap your son in his pushchair, just tell ignorant people who interfere that if they don't understand the situation, they should MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS.

not trying to show off , but playground is merely the start of a very long list since my ds1 (as) was out of nappies - doorstep of all shops (onto an oap's foot who happened to be walking into boots), pot plants indoors, anywhere in any garden (our front garden is not private)swimming pool communal changing rooms. now he's 5 he's a bit better, but does tend to find a reasonably discreet tree then spoil it by turning around to chat and let 'it all hang out'.
stuff them all i say - he hardly ever wets his pants any more, unless he's really upset, and for that i am truely grateful. sanctimonious mothers will get their just desserts with vile teenagers (i hope).
i am sure lots of mums were watching with a 'their but for the grace of god go i' attitude.

Ds1 is still in nappies. I was supposedly trained at the standard time (before three according to my mum). However, this did not stop me:
At the age of eight soiling myself in a garden centre.
At the age of 11 wetting myself in the classroom.
At the age of 13 soiling myself in town.
At the age of 13 wetting myself during the end singing session at Guides.
At the age of 15 weeting myself in Church and being prepared to walk up the aisle in a very wet dress.
Please note these are not all the incidents that I had a lack of control. Please also note that at no time during any incident did I realise to clean myself up, or realise that others might notice (I didn't even think about others).
So don't feel bad about your lad weeing in public, he's still very much a baby .

my sons could both have done the same at that age, and they are not SN.

stupid cow. NT children have accidents at older ages than that. My 3.8 year old very publicly weed on the floor in an Italian cafe in town . Staff were absolutely lovely, cleaned up discreetly with no fuss (did end up leaving a fiver tip!!!).

dd until very recently thought it was fine to just squat down and pee if the need took her (including in the public playground). She is seven! It's easier to disown them at that age though isn't it On top of the climbing frame is a bit visible isn't it? Poor you.

Oh and NT - in fact quite bright and socially aware, but still oblivious to the idea that some things are just done in private...

Message withdrawn

Thanks for your replies I only have intermittant access to computer so I am always slow at responding sorry! I needed the perspective that he is only 3.5. I was thinking nappies and pushchair torn between bo*cks to it and doing something to look like I am trying to resolve it.

Tutting and judging is happening all the time and I want to be bigger than it all but it drags me down. I need to build up my ability to say f* off which is sadly lacking at the moment. Why are those the people that you know you will have to see day in day out for the next x numbers of years?

It is the regular deliberate Fireman Sam act that she objects to I am guessing. I would have had a hair wash I didn't fancy if I tried to stop him. I am actually wanting the dropping trouser and pants habit and running around the playground to come back. It is ironic that he has a sudden desire not to wet himself in the playground and public places the rest of the time he wets himself. At least he will move onto the next phase eventually.. hoping better you never know.

You can't win can you. At least there is a funny side to it.