Am I right not to settle for ADHD????

[bonkerz]

Just had first appointment at CAHMS and was asked if i would be happy with a diagnosis of ADHD for DS!!!
I pointed out that ADHD did not explain all of DSs probelms and that also the 2 main stream schools DS has attended in the last 3 years have tried all the strategies going for a child with ADHD and that none of them have worked. I left the Dr with hundreds of pages of evidence detailing DSs problems and autistic traits. I pointed out to him that myself and his head teacher feel he is on the spectrum and he told me from the 20 minutes he had spent with DS that Autism would have been the last thing he would have suspected!!
When i pointed out that the school and LEA felt a specialist school with a autistic unit was the best thing for DS he said he would gladly write a letter saying DS showed autistic traits purely based on the evidence i had provided!
Im now confused.
We go back on 5th for some assessments and i have to decide about medication. I dont know what to do. In my heart i know DS has more problems than ADHD but im worried im gonna push for something that isnt ther IYKWIM. What shall i do? If DS doesnt have ADHD will medication make him worse???????

We're in the same situation bonkerz but the paed is at least prepared to assess ds for both ADHD and ASD. Was it the paed who said this today? If you feel it is more than ADHD then I think you are right to push them to do a full assessment. I'm not sure about the meds but ds has been on Equasym XL for a week now and I can't say that i'm convinced its working- although it doesn't seem to have made him any worse

thanks dusty. It was the psychologist at CAMHS that said the pead thought DS may have ADHD but was unsure hence referral to CAMHS!!!! He is going to do assessment on 5th december and see what that brings. Surely if it was just ADHD the pead would have diagnosed it knowing how bad things are at school etc so i think im right in pushing for assessment. Medication scares me as although i understand we need to calm the raging DS i am terrified we will lose the good DS IYKWIM.

bonkerz, I'm sorry you are still having to battle on! It is my experience that a dx of adhd carries no weight educationally! This IMHO is because people in authority still ( erronously of course) think adhd is bad behaviour whilst asd is rightly recognised as a disability. It is apparently difficult to distinguish between 'asd with impulsive hyperativity' and 'adhd with asd traits' in young children. One diagnosis gets support in school the other does not! I would push for a full assessment to rule out asd before accepting a diagnosis of adhd with traits! Forgive my rant - you will have guessed that I accepted (because it did not know otherwise) a dx of adhd for my ds at age 5 and its been a real disadvantage! We got a statement nearly 3 years later because he also has LD and language diffs and he now attends a special school that recognise his asd needs so we got there in the end.

thanks magso. I have just spoken to the ed pshych who did his assessment for statement last week and he confirmed that i should not accept ADHD as a final diagnosis. He says on his assessments he found DS to have below average audibal memory which confirmed his suspicions about asd! He says that DS does meet all the triad issues with regards asd??? Not sure what that means but it is a good thing isnt it????????? He is sending me a copy of the report he is writing so i can send it to CAMHS. I spoke to him brifly about what was said to me yesterday and he said he wasnt surprised. Apprently giving parents a chice is a regular thing at CHAMS and the ed psych says he has seen many Drs diagnose children without full assessments for ASD and it is these children who are stil failing so i feel i am definately going to push now for ASD assessment without a doubt.
Still undecided about meds though. Spoke to Ed Psych briefly and he said he would only see meds as positive if DS offered counselling and support and that they be used for short period.

had the biggest eye opener today when i went to pick up DS from school. He was in his soft room having a meltdown. i have never actually witnessed one first hand. I watched through the window for a few minutes before going in. I am in shock. Ds had a look on his face that i have never seen. If i was to describe it it would be distain or complete arroagnce and contempt. I went in and couldnt bear to look at him. I can honestly say i didnt know what to do. He was lolling around the floor, angrilly saying he hated school/teachers/sister/me etc i eventually left holding his arm tightly and had to frog march him thorugh the playground to the car infront of parents. I got him in the car and put his seat belt on. We then had to go to pick up SDS from a pub along the motorway and half way along DS decided he really did want to die and tried to open the sliding door. I have never been so scared in all my life. I desparately need some help.

Bonkerz, just read your post on other thread and I think our sons are so so similar. Medication sort of helped but not massively because of the ASD bit, the psychiatrist says.

I think it is great news (in a messed up way) that the ed. psych. said all that because they're not usually prepared to stick their necks out that much! So it bodes well for a statement and also it bodes well for you getting more help if you can get CAMHS to take the EP seriously (which they probably will do). It's not any help in the right here, right now, but at least you're on the path (like me) and it's a lot easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're actually in the tunnel!

Apparently Social Services are supposed to be interested in helping if the child is in danger or putting others in danger. That's what the psychiatrist told me about the knife threats that J was making last week, although I haven't yet found them willing to help - but it's got to be worth you phoning them and asking for help.

i think our DSs are very similar and we are in the same place it seems.
I suppose now we both have our 2 week wait till we can plan ahead.

Where are you based, bonkerz?

leicester

really bad day today. Actually wondered how life would be without DS and feel so guilty about that. Ds been a nightmare all weekend. Am really strugling to cpoe after what i saw on Friday and i suspect DS knows this. Went to see DSs nanna today who didnt really help much as she told him she would deduct presents from his pile for every time he is naughty! He will have nothing so now i feel like i have to lie for him.
Feel like shit and just want to curl into a ball. Worst part is im being very short tempered with DD, DS and DSD. BAD MUMMY!!!!

Don't feel guilty Bonkerz- a lot of us with SN kids feel that way from time to time. Its not as if we wexactly chose this, is it?

DS3 is in assessment atm (DS1 has a dx of HFA / AS witha dditional ishoos) and I get the feeling they'd like to give him a SALT dix (because then Pareds can sign them off- Paeds just signed of ds1 despite the favt he si deteriorating a lot atm and in trouble at school), we won't accept it though- he is clearly ASD (we've tried 'living' with other dx's and nothing cuts it). BIBIC have done a CARS on DS3 and found him to be moderate ASD which is mroe acceptable to us, in terms of his obsessional behaviours / severe sensory issues (not potty trained as yet- was but regressed- and has no inkling when wet,or dry- or hurt either)/ routine fixation (dont even try giving him dinner without a yellow fork........) and he's also clearly learning disabled although Ed Psych says he can't be because he's good at puzzles

Stick to your guns, the search for answers is often fundamental for us as parents.

Bonkerz that ting on Friday- sounds like the spit of what we get with ds1, he went for a dozen kids in one playtime on friday (! school didnt discipline though, they never do, just write it in the book) and he has that complete arrogance thing going on. Taht's exactly who he is though, he THINKS its always someone elses fault (apaprently due to a poor understanding of cause and effect in social situations, but its mroe than that- he also thinks he is superior to us- refers to himself as a genius despite getting a 1 in his SAT's)

thanks peachy. I know im feeling like this because of friday TBH. I feel embarrassed by him at the moment and feel i have lost control completely. I think i have spent so long trying to get help for his behaviour at school i have forgotton about help for me at home and now i have no energy to try and find that help!

Are you on TTR bonkers/ because a lot of how you are feeling is echoing a lot of stuff I said on there (in a very self centred rant [blsuh]) yesterday.

I think its normal to feel that way tbh.

We cant just shove our feelings aside 100% all the time. I feel let down by ds1 at the moment. I dont like feeling that way, but its still the way I feel.

TTR?????

LOL I take it not then

There's an off MN board where us Sn mums can rant and geta dvice etc- there's a thread with 2shoes e-mail on it (she's The Boss) or you can email me and I will get you an invite should you wish to join us (time to rant its called)

[email protected]

here

thanks peachy but apparently im not eligable to join!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Message withdrawn

bonkerz - think there has been a genuine misunderstanding - presumably 2shoes thought you thought ttr was for general ranting, and didn't realise you post on SN board. will sort out an invite for you.

thanks for that then! Bit sensitve right now cos feeling really shit about everything. Bad mummy etc etc etc etc etc

My fault bonkerz because I forgot to e-mail 2shoes! But afaic see you ARE welcome- it was a MN search that didn't record your Sn posts that causeed the confusion.

there was an issue re your e-mail- did you contact her agin about that?

yes thanks i have opened a yahoo account so all should be fine now!