DD (3.5) hurting herself when she's frustrated

[Sickofpeppapig]

My DD has been referred to be assessed for ASD, and we are seeing a nurse via the HV in the interim about a few things. I feel she's been rather dismissive of my concerns about DD hurting herself and I was wondering if anyone else knew what to do.

She will bang her head on the table or walls, throw her whole body into doors and corners of things, pulls her hair, hits, punches herself, uses other objects to hit herself. She does this alot when she gets overwhelmed or if things don't go the way she wants them too. She will also occasionally do it when she's asked to do something and she doesn't want to. She's covered in bumps and bruises from head to toe. The nurse just tells me to ignore it, leave the room and raise it with the paediatrician when I see her. But it's been going on for months and only getting worse. I hate watching her hurt herself and I don't know how to help her. Any advice?

I feel for you. Ds was like this at the same age. Thankfully he doesn't do it as much now (7yo) and I can't remember the last time he head banged.

We did various things which helped. First always having a pillow on hand to try and protect him. Sometimes deep pressure helped (squeezing his hands or feet), sometimes he couldn't tolerate being touched.

It is worth reading up on sensory processing disorders. 'The out of sync child' is a good place to start. If your area offers Occupational therapy that focuses on sensory processing it is worth asking your paediatrician or HV to refer you to the service. Not all areas offer this.

The main thing that helped us was to avoid the triggers which led to ds being overwhelmed. We used visual supports and makaton, used short 1-2 word sentences to prepare ds for any transitions (his main trigger). We also used ABC charts (antecedent, behaviour, consequence) where every time a behaviour like this happens you write down what happened before, during and after. Writing it down can help you to find patterns of behaviour and can help you think through your reaction and whether it helped or not.

A lot of this is written with hindsight and at the time i did feel very much like i was flailing in the dark!